Thursday, December 31, 2009

new year new me?


finished 1 test! yey..its hard..but i think i manages to put everything in just wait for the result..nothing else can be done rite? tawakal je la ;p

its the other new year..not to celebrate it cos we shouldn' not ours..but Hijrah also just entered a new if i were to celebrate both that means its double new year for me ^_^ and something might happened next one just go with the flow..thats what i've been doing all this while..^_^

today i learn something: even i was bit angry just now..but after reflecting..i think i am way better than that..i shouldnt be mad just because of that...i know that person is purposely trying to make me mad..and she got me..but just for few sec..i am way better darling...alhamdullilah..anger is still under control..yey! ^_^

okies..tonight will go back home..yey! see mama n abah..will be back here on monday morning..luckily my class starts at insyaallah still can make it. ;p

i dont know why..but there's something inside that make me feel more alive today than yesterday..was it because test was done? hehe..but still think it was because of that ^_^

thats all for today..cant wait for next year! welcome 2010! goodbye 2009..u teach me so much bout life..bout friendship..and also bout myself...2302 and i'll be a year more i hope everything will be as it should be..Allah has plan for each of us..but's up to us to make it happen or not..continue praying and work hard on it..insyallah..we'll have it all in our hand

peace n out ^_^

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

test microP


got microP test tomorrow and my head is aching the while day..even skip power E again..huhu..sorry ma'am..huhu..i know my body will be there but the brain wont.too much to digest..haish..what is happening? need to catch up fast!! okies..please pray for me..miza said the test was super hard! so if its hard for her than it is not impossible to be super duper hard for no..i attended the career unit talk just now..and today's was about social networking..and what i learn tonight is always be confident! insyallah..i can do the test well~ berusahaaa! ^_^

there's someone on my mind..and evertime i think of something and anything..that someone is there..being apart of my every plan..but..should i really accept it this time? i want to..but there's is some things still havent meet my how?

okies..still praying for my best..hope u can help by praying for me too ^_^ thanx in advance!

peace n out ^_^

Monday, December 28, 2009



today's post wont be long..cos it still whole body hurt..haish..but still not regretting la..cos we had so much fun! :D so today..for the first time..i skip 2 classes..but since today there'sonly 3 it can be said that i skip today's classes..cos microP was fairuz wasn't there..its test this Thursday and he cancelled class..haish..

so my official test dates will be as stated below:

31/12/09: microP
5/1/10: lab emd
11/1/10: power sys
15/1/10: powerE

thanx Allah next week only lab test..insyaallah2..if there's more..then i'll die cos this weekend i'll be going home..yipee! celebrating new year on the bus~

okies..hope tomorrow saket2 will be gone..and i can start(really start!) studying..and..after today's discussion..i think i do still need to focus on study..cos it's still going to be long before i can hope for something else..*sigh~

peace n out ^_^

Sunday, December 27, 2009

thanx so much ball!!


such a tiring yet wonderful outing! thanx so much to ball..gosh..last we met was in 2005 way before i entered uniten..visiting nurul at uniten without knowing i would end up here..hahaha..funny~

not much different ball..still fair n comel..hehe..out date begin with her mother n herself come n pick me up..the we went to her cousin's wedding...such a glorious wedding..can be called wedding of the year kot.and meeting her happening! and plus..i got to met riz af parents..haha..ball is related to riz af! really!! not joking!! haha..i wish some other friend of mine would be relative of nubhan maybe..haha..not sure whether i like him still or not..hoho.. it was so great we didnt mind staying there for bout 3 hours..haha..imagine atending weddin for 3 hours..without even knowing the was my first time really! hehe..and then..after the wedding we stop at a private hospital to solat n change..hehe..funny how we tricked the guard..then we headed to sunway pyramid..both of us dont know the exact way but with eda guidance..we made it there! alhamdullillah..arrived at 5pm..then..we attacked tgv..and the only movie available for us..and interest us the most was princess and frog! haha...being kid again! so at we got few hours to jalan2...and then..and decided to try skating! was our first time ever too! so its so childish and funny..laughing all the way..felling and goleng2 and then laughing again..there's a boy who find us funny too maybe..maybe he though we were younger..haha..kakak kot..then he offered us his help..we..thanks to him i fell like cempedak! and its hurts so much in the butt and hand..maybe the landing was bad..and it was a speedy fell my u..huhu..hurting still..and got a bruise on my palm..i landed on the butt and palm to protect my head of cos!..huhu..this would make me scared of the rink for a while i think..huhu..then..during the movie..ball's mom called..and asked to not to come too late..but the movie finished at 11pm so her house at we stayed at her aunty's house at putrajaya..such a wonderdul aunt she has! so beautiful! seriously! then round 12pm the next day we continue our journey to alamanda and went back at 5pm..thanx so much ball for the days! lov u darling! and gonna miss u!! xoxox can i forgot! on thusday! kakak belanja me prosperity!! thanx so much kakak! she knew this month's budget is super tight! hahaha..and thanks to her my prosperity consumption for this year is completed!! so thats it for me..i accomplish the target of having fast food this year! and no more next long as my target weight still far away like today..haish..chaiyok azy chaiyok!

ok..its almost biggest fear is approaching! and i really dont know what to expect! and i hope..the future is better and brighter for us all..insyallah~ is asyura day..i hope u also fast today..mama said..the pahala is the same as 1000 umrah..insyallah..only Allah know what i get today..hope HE accept my doings today..ameen~

last week..i did so much bad things..bad deeds that i cant let them off my mind..i wanted to apologize..but seems there's no prays are just for them to be happy and have a wonderful life without me around..another thing..after the fall and those accident with the sani bus..i really felt that death is near for any of us..just that we dont really know the date..people say..those who go before us means that Allah love them best..thats why He took them to be near to him..does that mean Allah didnt love us? does that mean i am a bad girl that's why He didnt take me yet? please humble selfish doa is for me to die before my love ones..i cant bear another lost..please Allah please..but i know..i am still lack of pahala that would take me straight to heaven...but i would always try to improve on that..insyallah..please guide me to the right way ya Allah..please~

ok..LI is in stating on 5th April till 25th of June 2010 and i haven't get any placement..and it scare me! hope i get somewhere that i can learn things and earn so allowance ^_^

okies..thats all from me today...

peace n out ^_^

Friday, December 25, 2009

another weekend~


today holiday! yey! but not at all i feel excited..why oh why..plan to go back and take printer and filter here..but so lazy wanna call fendi..haish..

oh..notice the counter? haha..i'm the 100th the green? its my current fav colour i pc table is this green..and also my bed sheet and is good~

ok..what do i want to do this weekend? since next week got microp it will be microp week..and tomorow dating with ball..then sunday maybe with k long..huhu..i want to go out but money and time seems to be jealous of me..huhu so how? still today i woke aup late and tll now i'm still on the bed blogging..uploading pictures from the zoo trip and checking mails..and still no placement for LI..haish~

huhu..waiting for eda to come out of the toilet..then mandi then eat then start la..printer xpe la..skali skala kayakan iranye bisnes..filter..sorry alya..after mid term break la plak..

january is coming..and i'm kinda scared~

peace n out ^_^

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

still serabut~

salam~ morning today didnt start 1st rejection email from a company i applied for practical..should i mind much bout it? yes! cos if even not so big company didnt have anymore placing so it is not impossible for the rest of the bigger one..gosh! gotta act faster!! got lab tonight till 10pm so later after that gotta come back and settle the address and everything..then i need to look at microP..tomorow got quiz and today's lab really made my stomach flipped..i only managed to understand just before class finished..gosh! this is not good! this weekend need to do an all out session! must!! no excuses!! stop 'bangau'ing!!! yes2!! i can really live without her now!! i totally not affected by her action anymore!! and i love this new me! :D being a bit evil but i think..everyone is started to is third year..this is how its supposed to just be ready azy! next week got 2 test! microp and power sys..microp quiz tomorow..hope i can do well..i think i get it..but somehow somewhere i just kinda lost..need moment to digest things..well..guess i need to spend less time in front of the pc this week..i will definitely go online in the morning to check emails (anymore rejection?) and after this..hopefully i can be very strict with my schedule! follow it!! dont just spend time in front here..haish...

okies..tonight's lab is for power E..and to my surprise there's only one girl! and its this sem..there's lot of changes in me..alone in class..making new friends..having new class partners (can i call them that? hehe) thanx for having me! luv u! (still dont get it when some cant take it when i'm not with certain group of friends and keep on changing group of friends..that's what i think good for let me be ME..please..and thank you ^_^)

for now..i enjoy all class..except when its quiz's day or approaching one..then my head will get serabut..need to workout the plan fast! oh ok..need to plan for u-robik next as the head of sport and recreational bureau, is organizing weekly aerobic activity every tuesday evening at 6 to 7 if anyone from Ilmu reading this..please join us..we will do the Jillian Michaels workout..(shida jgn jeles ye..^_^) there's will be merits given.

so that's all for today~

peace n out ^_^

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

serabuted head~


my head is so crammed! hav 2 test next week..power sys and micro p..then lab test on the next..gosh..microp is still manageable..power sys? omg! got quiz 1 just now..and it was hard!! it was an open book..and still we were struggling to get it done..and to top the answer dont matched the answer at the stressful! and its all my fault! i was playful whole month and suddenly test are coming too so damn fast! ok..thats the word..huhu..i am so anxious resting for a bit so that i can push it all out tonight..think i should skip the meeting tonight..felt so unstable rite now..need time~

notice my sentence are worst than ever? good..then that means i need to stop n have a head~

peace n out T_T

Sunday, December 20, 2009

emotionally stable~

salam~'s a bit early to post new entry cos usually i post as summary for the whole day activities..hehe..

so 0900 today yana and i went to zira's house..i promise myself not to shed any tears..cos is none of of should..i know i need to be happy so that i wont make ibu ayah imah n nani get any sadder..alhamdullillah i managed nicely..i'm proud of imah and nani..they manage just a well..i know its hard for them too..but looking at ibu's face..i know..they know..they need to be happy t make ibu happy..good job girls! so sorry cos we arrived a bit late..hehe..just in time to amin the we went there for eating.hehe..and tapau balik some bihun and the sambal and 4 slices of cheese cake..gosh! there goes my diet again..hehe..then..the challenge..looking at their family pic..and zira staring back at me..gosh..sebak2..but trying hard to be strong..then makan2..gosh the nasi lemak's sambal was great!! then as usual..i asked nani to see zira's the moment i saw her bantal all came back to me again..she always hold that bantal back it during study or when we share the bed for some stories..some sesi hati ke hati.. and to my surprise..we like dkny! i never knew she wore dkny perfume..oh zira..i miss u~

::al-fatihah for her ::

back at my room..the flashing back continues..but..not tell here..more time'm in alya's room..haha..shy2 la ^_^

okies..felt like sleeping all day..due to yesterday's work kot..(haha..watpe je la smlm?) but tomorow got microP another one on tuesday powersys..and i havent study a bit!! haish! there goes another 3-days weekend..huhu..missed 2 of 5 of 3-days-weekend..and i havent go back to loqstaq..haish~

he said he's coming back in January..should i wait? cos i thought of going back the first oh how? tmorow maybe will go to kajang to look for hope there's still cheap one..ameen! ^_^

okies..thats all for now..salam~

peace n out ^_^

Saturday, December 19, 2009

volunteer is good for the soul ^_^


just came back from zoo negara! omg..this is my first time doing charity work..and it was so much fun!! i can believe it! i thought it would be so tiring and boring and the workers would simple ask us to do this and that..but they were just wonderful!!'s the detail ^_^

0730: kakak fetched me from ilmu and we heading to atm for the ride to the zoo
0900: arrived at Zoo Negara and we was late..and only 29 reported and it was kinda short cos supposed there are 40 of us..well..its a what to do..then we were divided into 5 per group..but then due to our number..then my group was just,kakak,sugana and komala..then another 2 boys joined us cos their house didnt need we 6 work at the bird house..

then i lost track of time ^_^

our first job was to sweep leaves and clear the flamingo area..gosh..experiencing the animal from inside the cage was so much near to the feeling..then after the break at 10am..we headed back to the house and kakak and i got separated...she with the other 4 went to the flamingo area again..and i was assigned with encik kecik at the kitchen..haha..such a cute kid..he's i am comfortable enough as i cant have any feeling..hahaha.gatal me..but he is suc a nice kid..oh..need to mention he smoke..haish..ok..the job..first i help cut meat into cubes for the! then prepare the banana n papayas for the birds..just arrange them so that the chef can deal with them between that..another bird man check on us maybe..haha..ya la..there's only 2 of us inside the if i wanted to do anything la kan..funny..then he offered me muffins he was wonderful..but i forgot to take pic of the muffin..its was even topped with choc..cant believe it was baked by him..haha..and there's also kek lapis sarawak..baked by kecik..gosh! it was so good i hardly can believe kecik did it..its so perfect! just like those we got form sarawak..really admire them for that..guy that baked! and love animals! gosh! i wish they were older..hehe..then we joined the others..just for a bring all the pencakar and cangkul back to the bird house..then it was 12pm when they told us we can go for a walk and lunch..haha..our break supposed to be just 1 hour but it was 2 hours for lucky! was not so tiring for cos i work in the air-cond kitchen..hehe...then lunch time..the SIR provide us with nasi briani..its was good..really!

1400: work job continued with kecik again..haha..he like me maybe..but i think they thought i am too lembik for the cleaning work..haha..yea rite..try me! lazy maybe lembik no-no! haha..then kecik asked me to collect the feeding dishes from the kandang burung..then wash them all..gosh..its many!! haha..lucky i love playing with its not so troublesome for me ;p then..the other guy i think his name's azam..he called me to help prepare the i know..each day..they need to deal with 200kg of fishes and hundreds more of bananas papayas, grains, corn, raisin, kuaci, and also calcium...mixed them all..its different portion for different types of birds..then after that..the others came back..and they said the were going to the feeding area..wahaa..this is what other non-volunteers can't this..we got to feed stork with fishes at the lake, the imu(i think that the name..) with kangkung, the owl with meat and the small kangaroos..then to top all of those..around 4pm..they asked us whether we want to take pic with the parrots! of cos we want!! others need to pay for it but we got it for free!! yipee! love it!! oh..they have around 30 parrots and few peacocks in the cage for close look we got the chance to see 2 of the parrots up-close..its kasim and comel..kasim can say helo, apa khabar and cough like a funny..and so cute! kasim is white..and comel is blue..i'll upload the pic later ok (left the kabel with fendi..huhu) then after the pic session..we try our luck..asking for the feathers to take home as first we thought they wont give..then with my cute pathetic face..haha..they gave us!! yey! but they told us not to show them around inside the zoo cos fear the others want it too..i got 3 of them..kakak got 5 i think..the others got few each too..haha..lucky us! we would be grateful enough if they just give is 1 each..3? them so much!! then at 4.30pm..priya the sir commitee called us to go to the cafe cos its time to go back..huhu..kecik told me to come again personally..insyaAllah i will! they we all so nice! then at 1700 we headed back to uniten..and the bus ride was so fast cos we had fun having games wise much fun!! love it! so after this i certainly will join any activities organize by anyone even its just long as it has certificate ^_^

so..thats all about today..anyone want to do any volunteering at zoo negara please tell me..cos i want to go again!! :D

peace n out ^_^

Friday, December 18, 2009

it's another 3-day-weekend


yey! its weekend again! love weekend..because it's the time i could rest rest rest n if i wasnt resting at all during the least on weekends i wont feel guilty sleeping all day cause it is weekend rite..hehe..

today: wont do much..thought of going to zira's house but ibu said they'r going to kubur and got people coming so maybe today..i will surf all those things i wanted to google on..i been writing everything that come across my mind that i need to google is the time..hehe..what are they? just basically songs with lyrics so that i can karok..haha..and few names n lecture that i hear my lecturers saying they names in class..mostly from techcom class cosby and prosh..better check again..oh and that brown guy with nlp..that one i got form 3p workshop last 2 weekend..oh2..i love weekend!

tmorrow: around 7am...i will going to zoo negara! yey! doing some volunteering first it better if i expect the worst first it will be from 7.30am to least my saturday is going to be filled with something good and hearty..hehe..

sunday: ibu asked us to go around 8.30am or later..they are doing some kenduri..insyallah i will go with the rest

hmm..thoughts? well been doing much lately...last night listening to k onny and make me rethink of the it true? gosh...what if it is..what would happen next? gosh gosh and gosh..

ok..lets brief on what i did last night cos its kinda crazy not to mention it here..haha...yesterday wast the last day oh tahun hijrah 1430 so k onny came to have doa akhir tahun and doa awal tahun together..oh..happy new year everyone! :D then we went to upten for some refilling and gossiping ;p thats was the 1st part of the fun..hehe..then..after makan..i dont felt like going ho,e i persuaded k onny to bring me anywhere..hehe..nakal me..hehe..then we went to jj balakong..hehe..guess what we did there? hahaha..this is the funny part..k onny bought presents for her and her nephew..then haha..we went to the gsc front to watch trailers plus with popcorn! me? we sat on the bench in front of the counters with popcorn n cola then watched the screen there..watching was my 1st time..nice and what an experience! love it! should be doing it often! anyone wanna join? :D

remember big mac? akyp? ok..i'm over them all this semester..or maybe i thought i was..haha..akyp was gone forever due to his fb..gosh..avoiding2..big mac on the other somewhat giving response..hehe..not anything u think of..just mild response that i'm comfortable with..just some smiling along the way..and to my surprise i got to see him everyday..maybe his class mostly at bn too like nice..felt better each time bumping into him :D but well..dont think it would do more..age problem..huhu...or does it really true when people say age doesnt matter much these days..i hope so..i hope he would think likewise..hahaa..berangan kau..ok..reality check! ;p

mission possible is still undergoing some tough situation ;p
okies..will post everything bout zoo negara again tomorow..tunggguuuuu~
(ade ke org baca nih? baget2..if u do..thanx a million! ^_^)

oh n enjoy this as i do such a cute vid!! :D

okies..peace n out ^_^

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

tuesday morning~


wasnt planned to get up early today..but something came up i am..still in the blues many think inside my head..classes? still ok..power E..found few friends..husni n vivek are known..made friends with another 4 chinese..thanx guys! dont felt alone pn sabarina will call my name everyday...izayati!..haish..haha..xpe la cikgu..other subjects...still breathing ^_^

yesterday: haha..funny day..everything went of those..really funny story..i went to wak's for mee grg mamak..then went i was waiting for my order..wak's wife sit next to our table..then she said..adik tu mcm nur kasih..all 4 of us turned to se who was she talking about..eh2..kamu la..haha..she was addressing nur kasih(nur amina) that the funniest thing but sweet that one ever said to me..nur amina is a character that too nice to be in reality..any girl should be like her..i admit i do want to like her..gorgeous and nice and clever and love for her man and Allah so great even when everyone was telling her to move on cos her husband was believed to be dead..she just keep on to her faith..believing that her husband will come back eventually...and he does in the end..well..that true love..even though her life wasnt as happy as she wanted in the early stage of her marriage but in the end her husband did turn good and love i ever have that great love?

this sem..what i think happened to me..after all those unfortunate events.. i look at other quite differently..i'm scared to be closed to anyone..i look at boys like there are all kids..(well should be cos my batch with my age all graduated already..haha) so here i life as a Schuzyy..hoping everything goes well...what ever lies ahead..i will go thru as calm as i can..even if it's not like what i thing i know for sure..there's no more hazirah abdul rahman to meet this coming august~ rest in peace zira al-fatihah~ insyallah aku g umah ko slalu..dulu zira slalu soh g umah dia g temankn ibu tp i refused cos she's not around, takot xtau nk cakap ape ngn ibu..but now...there's no more excuse..i will go to her..insyallah zira insyallah~

okies..b4 rain fall down..better stop..dont want any red eyes

peace n out ^_^

nur amina wannabe ;p

Friday, December 11, 2009

its all coming back~


i wanted to pour every memories i have with zira here..but..i just couldnt find the strength yet...each time i started to rain..i know she never want anyone to be sad bcos of her..cause she never does..gosh..writting bout her in past tense is hard enough...i asked shida last it ok if we didnt use arwah..cos it sound weird...i'm not really good in islamic..but i dont want her to sound like that cos she never dies in our head n hearts..i dont know why its hard for me to accept this..not that i cant accept the fate..its Allah's doings..her family accepts it..why can i? back then in gmi..when we just 12 gapp gilrs...we shared everything together..among all..zira was one of my bestest friend..she was my room-mate..we shared lots of common things..we love F1..we love cars..we were drivers..last night when doing bit of prayers for her..i remember when she used to sit by my bed..i sleep early cos i always wake up when they all slept..she said..she wanted to sit there cos she can see me sleep..but then i end up cant sleep then we will borak till she's sleepy..such a good heart..there so much of memories..i cant even think of another one to starts with..she always be my bank when i'm too scared to tell mama i've overspend again..and she always lend me some..thank seem i cant ever return the favour..i am so sorry..reading her last writting on her blog..touched was writen in november..bout a month ago..she said bout how grateful she was having Janna..i do envy janna..that's another superb friend i ever know...thanks janna for taking care of zira..i wish i was in your shoes..or maybe lending my hand to help helpless when what u can do is just waiting for updates on the net..i wanted to text janna or call her.but i'm afraid i would just bother her..i wanted to call ibu when i knew zira was sick..but i'm too scared i dont know nicest word to console her heart..what i can do now is just crying..crying each time zira thoughts come acroos my mind..i wish i could have done something..when she came back b4 she starts her practical..she did came here..but i just got to see her for few hours..and there was acap i didt really have the time with her..she gave me tje JLo first i thought it didnt smell too good for me..but since she';s sick..i started to wear make me think of she's gone..i keep on staring at the bottle..wishing i could at least see her in my pathetic i am rite? i am sorry...this is my first time loosing a friend..a friend that was close to my heart..and also to many..i didnt remember the last time i cried this hard..i am a crier..but this time..the hole i just too deep..i regret the time that i failed to pleased her..i regret the time when i had fights with her..alhamdullilah..all fight ended too well..well..that was zira..she never hold grudge..a good heart..will i ever be one? its true isnt it? Allah will take the good ones first..leaving the bad live just to see whether they would be good again..i was watching 2012 earlier..and i felt so relief zira dont have to feel still dont know..i always that none of us would ever be there to see the world end..cos all knows it too ugly even to imagine..seeing that movie..really make me i rather die than live..but in the end they survived end of day..and the day started it wasnt really end of days..

these stories..remind me of death..i always wanted it early..i always wanted it to be before my parents go..cos even when a fren died i'm like this..i cant imagine how its going to be when they'r gone..leaving me all by myself..without anyone else too look after me..i maybe look strong on the outside..i always play being strong when being with friends..its pathetic to look's an insult to womankind..thats why i hate when girls being girls..when the cant learn how to stand on their on feet..but i know..i am sometimes being fake..i do have my own soft spot..where i do need someone..someone that i dont really know who~

life is is is is full of is is is something that everyone wishes for it to be happily ever after..but how many really can achieve that happily ever after? has anyone ever has? is full of unanswered questions~

if u are reading this..thank YOU so much! i love u..i want to say now..bcause i'm afraid i wont have the chance to say it again..i am trully sorry for each n every sins and wrongs i ever do to YOU..i am just a human who is bound to do wrong things..and i do appreciate all friendship ties i ever have..even ones those i'm the one letting it loose..believe me..i am stupid to do those kind of things..but just for the greater good..forgive me~

its almost 3.30am now..think i better sleep now..plan to jog with alya later..

peace n out~

al-fatihah to hazirah~

Thursday, December 10, 2009

a hole that nobody can ever fill~


nur hazirah abd rahman (04011986 - 09122009)

a superb friend..listener..hugger..laugher..most cheerful person on earth..ur spirit live with us forever..i'll definitely miss u always zira~


Monday, December 7, 2009

life as it is~


ok..lets leave the matters bout the title for later..
last weekend was a good and full of input..i attended bengkel 3p that was organized by uniten's was for leaders (cewah..) to learn how and what is it about to be a leader. so since i am ilmu sport bureau captain..haha..funny isnt it? but i i attend the 1st i was quite uneasy since nobody i know that i heard of going..then when i was lepakking with kakak..then she said she was going my relieve~ so it was ok after all...the activities was ok..we stayed at sri malaysia bagan situated sumwhere near the beach but the whole 3 days there i didnt hear or see any laut..but luckily k azua came to fetch us then i got the chance to see the ocean again! thanx k azua!!! luv u!! ^_^ had some sotong bakar n sotong tepung..the sotong was big! 2 of them weighted half kg nice..but no really sedap..huhu..but its ok at least i got to see the ocean positive2! the 3p..we have a motivational talk by rizal..this wasnt my first time attending his was so good this time i sumhow remembers more than the last now..i can see what a person is just by looking at the it..ok..but what i learn with him was so much that i appreciate now..there is no failure it is just feedback. really true! even though i was not a 4 flat student but i am working hard on achieving it. so if i didnt get a 4 flat or even a dean list it just a a feedback of me making a bad and wrong choice..thats better thing of another choices and choose a better one..hehe...

and even when it come in the matter of heart.well..i do have a soft heart..and delicate mind..but things are continually made a bad impacts to me..and so much that i i choose to dont care anymore..i rether choose to ignore it..even it is sumting close to me..i know it is sumhow bad for the future and my own life...but rather than giving my heart n mind a hard time better let them work on any other is should and will come first at any friends when they choose not to care bout my choice there..better let them be and keep away from them...i WAS a soft hearted person..but is is difficult enough even without those problems...rizal said no trouble no fun..its true..but too much trouble just make no fun i choose to keep out of trouble or ppl who are troublesome to me..haha..ok..last week trouble came by...then i refuse to open the door to them...but today..trouble came by again..but he used my neighbor..tell them to tell me he wanted to neighbor had to come just to tell that trouble is troubling her now..just to get to me..but what i worried now is trouble went troubling my neighbor for? its enought for him to trouble me alone..stop harassing others who known to my neighbor..haish...this is the life i really need to keep away from for ever! neighbor wanted me to confront her..i said why should i? so what if he want to choose to have a row with me...i dont give a d*** anymore...just the fact that i already have problems that i need to settle than having u troubling my head some more...hate i think i made myself clear this time..i dont need u anymore trouble...not that i dumping u or anything..but just the fact that u are the one who are creating too much scene that not averyone wanted to..and obviously i am one of those who refuse ur company! so informed! and leave my neighbor alone!!!

ok..stop swearing! azy..this is not u! come back to the real u!

peace n out ^_^

Sunday, November 29, 2009

raya ooh raya~


happy aidil adha too all muslims out there! hope u have a very happy raya! cos i am~ :D

yesterday: after subuh helped abah with bihun sup..yes no nasi this raya..its ok..we r on diet ;p then round 8am went for solat raya..and to my surprise i did listen to the whole khutbah (haha..i usually fell asleep rite after the solat..hehe..bad me ;p) and ot really touched my feelings..but i dont know why this year..raya seems so wonderful..tears and thoughts are daily..still not sure heart felt softer now..but it's harden in other parts~

today: after and abah went to g lengkuas..we r doing korban this year..and mama out my i need to be there..and i watched the entire process! from pulling the cow out from the kandang to the agihan..the shocking part of cos the sembelih that moment i thought i would never eat any living animals ever! but the time of agihan..i stated drooling..sging rebus cicah air asam..sup tulang..dging msk kicap..all come across my mind..erasing the bloody thoght i collected earlier..hehe..but just to make it go away..i said to myself..they were created to be our food..since Allah didnt forbid its our duty to eat them at home..there goes gulai rebung, cicah2..dging kicap..and bbq..hehehe~ gosh i hopethey wont come after me in my dreams..erk~

::summary of this 3 weeks holidays::

i watched the finale of nur wasnt a fan of that drama..well..too much drama..and its on the fact of us not having tv at better keep holiday..and tv3 was repeatng the series..and i watched few episodes and..typical malays dramas..even if we missed the early episodes u stil can catch up even if u only watch the finale ;p so the same with nur doubt the storyline is waaaay better than any other series (malay's) the massage is of Islam and love that exists in sake of Allah..(cinta yg berlandaskan Islam..sorry not sure how to put it in english properly T_T) i did cried after nur and adam met and when she brought adam back to his mother..and love the love of adam n aidil..and between nur and sarah..such lovely relationships that i wonder if i ever gonna experience such~

another tears was for touches me each time they talk bout hajj..and for the first time..i really felt that i need to be there..i need to plan ahead..not just for my working life but islamic journey..mama time i'm back..we should go to tabung haji n that in another 5 or 6 years time we will be able to go of the the climbing high cost for hajj first we were planning on going somewhere bit futher this time..then..came umrah packages..and its soo expensive now..and mama said..with assari murni..its the best..but they dont offer the i clicked on hajj packages..they offer a full package for rm25000..gosh!..that the price u pay for a comfy islamic journey nowadays..but mama will worth every thats the turning point of me having this soft feeling..huhu..really felt small..watching those pilgrims at mekah n madinah..i wonder..if it is going to be the end of the world this coming i would never going to make it there...T_T so i will now on..start being good..of better than who i was all this while..bit by bit is changing...i no longer hope for that one duniawi gold..but there's something greater than that behind all those things i wished for..its all just pleasures that can be obtained here on earth but we forgetting that we are not long here..there's some other place that we r going to live fact..for 1600! i will have u in no time..insyaallah~

heart: its divided into 3 now..soft: medium : rock hard

soft: those teary event touches help to cry so much..well always like this since..forever kot ;p

medium: when i find it hard to argue..i just find my own way out by keeping the thoughts to myself..better say less than listening more ;p

hard: rebellious ones..ngengada ones..attention seeking me not ones..dont care bout me but urself onces..felt sooo perfect ones..well..u deserve this..dont feel weird when i turn this 3rd switch on..cos its ur own fault i did..

i am just a simple girls who sumtimes accidentally be bad of some reasons..maybe because i cant stand it anymore..have u ever think bout that? i always wanted to create a persona lile nur..its so lovely..but she too have her thats how real woman is..we do react to situations..accordingly~

another thing i learned this holiday..less caffeine makes our brain function clearer n calmer..and less annoying~

sorry if any heart scratched by this words of mine..its true and this is how i felt bout world today..we are away for Allah and islamic way of life..even the so called wiser in religion seems corrupted enough to have less respects from the commoners~

again..thousands apologizes..starting a new life this new sem..oh and have a brighter yet eventful semester ahead..hope less drama for me too ;p

peace n out ^_^

ps: i'll post my class timetable later..need to amend something first this Wednesday oh n mission is having super heavy unavoidable unfortunate obstacle..huhu~

Thursday, November 26, 2009

day 11~


okies..nothing to mrepek so update for mission..hehe..still not much..haish..super lazy these days..hope laziness decrease when back at uniten..haha..well at least i walk to class ok ;p

so i had lunch: sup ayam, sayo n ikan steam with suku nasi..n fruits
dinner: mushroom soup n bread..
supper: my own baked cookie! 1 piece :D

n JM :D

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

did i marry the right person?

okies..this one i just copy paste from a blog given by shida..and i think it's sumwhat true..huhu..but..well..the truth is ugly isnt it?

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU .

Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown.People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love .

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.' laaaa..huhu~

sad but happy ^_^


not much(well i always say this isnt it? ;p) ok2..haha

result out today..wasnt dean list..but i am quite happy cos i thought i would flunk emf n emd..alhamdullilah i got b..well better that c rite..alhamdullilah too cos no c this time..n cgpa up 0.02..haish..well..better than going down rite? :D so i thank Allah for that..that was a miracle! :D

so diet still going on..yesterday i slept quite last so the morning i can hardly focus doing i straight go for bed rite after jdm5 is left forgottern..guess what..i was hungry the whole day! so it is true..the jus is making us not feeling i promise myself not to skip 1 those scolding i got from mama..haha..uish..pedas2 ;p

so last 2 nasi for lunch..dah la sedap2..haish..godaan2..breakfast anlene lunch kenduri night omg..i had maggi..share half with nasi n ikan pindang..nyum2..n dinner pulut udang wa bg..n 1 piece cookies i baked! fresh from oven :D oh..and lots of water! :D

so i hope gud news for me tomorrow on the scale :D

oh..i read k einaz blog..she eat in 2 hours gap..hoho..i know bout that..but its hard to make it how? and the workout boday aching like i cuti last nite..tonite? em em..haha..not sure yet..eyes wide awake..mayb will do some..15min can a? hehe~ sem..i will be taking 6 subject..huhu..hopefuly can cope..power syg, power e, micro p, techcom, lab emd and cr..quite scary to look at..but need to speed up..i dont think i can do 15 during final year..go go azy!! u can do it!! :D

okies..peace n out ^_^

Sunday, November 22, 2009

fuh fuh fuh~


hehe..gud news! i got new hobby( really?) activity to do now..bought workout dvd of Jillian Michaels from kak einaz..gosh..trying it out tonight..and it is exhausting!!! really! try the 1st level for 28 mins..then take a break iming with shida..then the internet went out and i spend the time watching the rest of the other levels..and the kickboxing caught my attention! really! no mat no dumbell no nothing..just plain i try that one..and i only can do till the 11th min then i surrender..skip to the cooling down..gosh..28+11...39 min is too much..gosh...sweating like mad..but stated to feel something and i know its good! really..thanx so much kak einaz! so after chating with shida..i sumhow lost the shyness of the weight..haha..but not revealing it here..but the ticker i put on the left is sumhow what i am much..i started on sunday (15112009) so after a week i lost 1.5 kg..well..not much..but at least i did lost a kilogram ok! proud of myself..lest eating for sure..i am having much faith this time..with some extra help of jdm5...hoho..and with shida being the it! it goes! my new mission! so we are trying for our first target..(kite je yg tau shida..don worry! :D) so here it goes! good luck girl!! :D

ok..what i had today: nasi,2 squids, ikan bakar for brunch and char kewteaw for evening and 2 biscuit and tea for dinner..haha~

still disappointed about that nasi grg cina i ate last thursday..huhuhu~

ok..result might come out this praying hard..ameen!

bought a planner at popular for next i hope next year will be much better that this year n previous..insyaallah~

that's all

peace n out ^_^

Saturday, November 21, 2009

FRAGILE :this body contains heart:


as my friend said it on i'm going to be a bit jiwang or more like full of emotion..such a bad day for me..woke up early..and felt not so much raining outside..cold and all..everything was so-so..then i read that paerticular 'thing' then it made me felt so down~ am i that worthless..who am i to u? what am i here for? i really dont understand guys..they can share things but when it come to problems..they just keep it to themself..just remember..eventhough females are masters of making thing worst but we are superb when it come to listening..we can adapt to emotion perfectly..thats why we are the mothers not the males..ok..the point is..please share ur problems..its hard enough to know and see u sad..we dont ask doesnt mean we dont want to know..keeping it to urself just making an impression of mighty ego in the head and u not loving and appreciating us females as a friend, buddy, girlfriend or even wive..its true u know..problems do get lighter even when u talk about it to sumone~

avoiding xplosion

peace n out ^_^

Monday, November 16, 2009

cuti cuti cuti~


its holiday again! yey! there so many things to do yet i havent start with anything..hehe~

so daily schedule is almost the same for entire 3 weeks i supposed..hoho..morning wake up..afternoon cook..evening either stay at home watching tv or out jln2 cari pasal..night..dinner and tv or out..after 12am its kebun time!! hooho~

there's so much in my head..but its all about that 1 thing.. mama asked bout it too..but i just refuse to say alya's blog..its the same thing..huhu..but lucky its still between me n mama..n i know..mama too think i dont seem to be ready for any of those..i'm still her baby girl..but what acha said in the paper today do make some sense..i do need what she say she needed all this while..what can i do..just wait till the time comes~

hmm..seems that my writting is getting less open..not sure why...i think i was being too open in here..omg! i hate this ym..a friend of mine got those virus that make her window open every now n then..i was waiting for that someone whom i know the name wont appear tonight..haish..why am i have this feeling..i hate this..i need him more when he need me less..thats just s****!! seems like i'm the one who doing the chase wright now..bad news..he dont even care~

oh..another bad news i heard recently was about zira..she was in german's hospital now for having infection..not sure what it called..but what for sure is that she was being put to sleep to let her body rest. and i think she was conscience now but she's still in icu..i wanted to call her mom but not sure what to say..not good at consoling n comforting..huhu..hope everything fine with her n her family..lets just pray for our dearest zira! get well soon girl! miss u so much!!

peace n out ^_^

Sunday, November 1, 2009

beautiful morning~


such a beautiful morning! wokeup n bathed at 6.15am fresh but this chillness is making me sleepy..go azy go!!

i love numec i love numec! but these 2 things keep on coming to my head..keep on shaking it away...haha..if eda would notice..i am shaking my head every now n then..haha..funny..but each heart ache..haish...dont know what to do...i need them to beautify my life~

pray for my success n peacefulness please~

peace n out ^_^

Friday, October 30, 2009

what will happen now?


islamic 2 done! alhamdullilah~hoping for an A..ameen! ^_^ the question was funny..lucky i managed to stop myself from laughing..widuka n widura..then there's widuri and widuru..funny2..oh..n there was widodo too..hahaha~..anyhow..i hope i answered it correctly~

after exam.. to my disappoinment..i didnt see 'anyone' nevermind la..then i thought Ita went back already..but to my surprise..she i was asking for a ride from ira..but in the end i tell her that we r walking home..haha..imagine that..from library to upten weh..haha..with some talking and gossiping..then we reached coe..huhu..sadly only wak's n cafe fadz openned that mean no real food..huhu..then ita suggested we go to ba..gosh..that mean a U-turn..huhu..then i suggest upten..huhu..i was sumhow further..haish..but then i can send her with she agreed..haha...then around bm area..i tell her what of we go to ba..haha..then she said no we continued our journey to upten..somewhere near ilmu..then ira n husni stop by to take us to upten..lucky us..then..jeng3~ hehe..the fun part~ arriving at upten..jeng3...ira turn to me and smile..i know there's must be either i search..oh oh..there he was..hehe..i tried to not let it too ira doesnt know i was still targeting him..haha..funny..the ita n i went for tropic n ira the other way..but after i took the food..n seated..i look that side again..but he wasnt there..huhu..sad..but not so..still have hope..then..the next time i look that way..haha..he was there..but unfortunately he didnt seem to notice me..sad~ nevermind then..i was nothing after all isnt it? but the best part of all..the time he went back..i did look at him..n gosh how handsome he was today..with his usual smart the black shirt..omg! cant make the image go away~scary..hoho~so thats the not-so happy story..hehe..but yes this is the first time i admit he's handsome..all this while he just 'pelik' ^_^
oh..i like what he did with his hair..better!! much much better!! wish i could tell him that~

so..focus focus focus!! another 3 papers!! yosh!!!

peace n out ^_^

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

depressed n still depress~


started with the paper this morning..alhamdullilah it was ok..insyaallah~

so then i came back to my comfy bed then had lunch then nap..then out to alamanda with ita..main purpose was to buy the 'lost symbols' by dan brown..but then they say there's only hard i endup not buying...deep down still want to buy!! but well..still got till tomorrow! hehe..

then..after came back from my just 6.30 had time for a movie..cant say the title here..but it was soooo sweet..a man love a woman he hardly know..even the real name was fake..but he does fall for her...and yes..the woman do fall for him too..the ending was unpredictable but yes..its sweet...

then after hani came back..time for another movie..the ugly truth..gosh! i dont really fancy gerard butler...but he's always sweet on screen...but no no today i was not really in mood..i hardly cried..( yes..i'm a cryer..i even cry while watching wonderpets when they managed to rescue some animals...huhu) so..then i know something must be wrong...but i havent found the cause..huhu...but this feeling triggerd when a housmate of mine mention bout her then they all talk bout their sweety...well..then left me there with nothing but my pc here to sorry if u read this..i dont know what to do anymore..i really do need someone..i dont know whats wrong with me...i think i function well enough for someone to like me or even look at me..oh well...the truth is ugly~

feel like crying~

so before i spill any..sorry all..n please pray for i always pray all~

peace n out~ T_T

Sunday, October 25, 2009

happy sunday everyone!! ^_^


finals going to start on tuesday..and gosh..i dont think i'm ready..only for numec i felt bit ready than the others..huhu..emd n emf xyah ckp what am i expecting this sem? berserah je la..huu~

ok..this is sumthing that shida said bout diet..but i cant remember what my blood type is! haish..what has got into me? seems to forget everything~ but i know its either a or ab..huhu~

Dr. Peter J.D´Adamo dalam bukunya menyarankan pemilik jenis darah A mengambil diet vegetarian dengan pengambilan makanan yang mengandungi lektin yang sedikit. Ini kerana jika kandungan lektin diambil dalam kuantiti yang banyak akan mengakibatkan masalah perut. Menurut beliau lagi, golongan individu yang memiliki jenis darah A menghasilkan kandungan lendir (lendir?? OMG!) lebih banyak berbanding jenis darah lain. Keadaan ini menimbulkan risiko terhadap jenis penyakit jenis alahan seperti asma,
(dulu penah ada asma..huhu) infeksi telinga dan gangguan pada saluran pernafasan. Selain itu sumber makanan berasaskan haiwan seperti ikan dan ayam boleh diambil tetapi dalam kuantiti yang terbatas.

Individu dengan jenis darah ini juga dianjurkan mengambil susu yang telah melalui proses penapaian seperti susu masam, krim tanpa lemak, keju alami, telur dari jenis organik atau ayam kampung (dalam jumlah terbatas), lemak (dalam jumlah terbatas, kekacang dan bijirin dan susu kacang soya. Individu darah jenis ini perlu mengambil sayur-sayuran (lucky i do love sayur~)dan buah-buahan dalam kuantiti yang banyak. Makanan yang harus dihindarkan adalah hidangan laut berwarna putih seperti ikan siakap putih, cumi-cumi, daging lembu, daging salai, susu, keju hasil olahan industri, kacang merah (never my fav! seb baik! ), roti, kuih-muih, kek, kentang, mangga, betik, jeruk, pisang, minyak jagung dan minyak kacang tanah. (aiyayayai..susah nih~)

Ciri khas individu jenis darah A:
• Memiliki sistem pencernaan yang sensitif (patot la ari2 beri~ ^_^)
• Perlu menghindari makanan yang daripada produk susu dan daging (susu xpe..daging? huhu~)
• Dianjurkan menjadi vegetarian atau mengambil makanan berkadar karbohidrat tinggi, namun rendah lemak (ptot la dh de perasaan nk jd kesian haiwan~)
• Mengurangkan stres dengan bermeditasi, atau berolahraga (erk~)
• Cukup beristirehat (lebey dh kot..hehe~)

Menu diet yang dianjurkan:

Sarapan : Air putih dicampur jus limau nipis dan oat (ewww~)

Snek: Jus anggur / kopi (nescafe!! ^_^)

Makan Tengah Hari: Salad dan roti gandum satu potong serta teh herba (what??!!!)

Snek: Kuih beras dua potong dan teh hijau (teh hijau? ok2..buley2~)

Makan Malam : Pasta tanpa daging campur brokoli, yoghurt dan teh herba (eww..yoghurt..eww~)


Pola makan pemilik golongan darah AB adalah gabungan antara pola makan golongan darah jenis A dan B. Penyakit yang berisiko dijangkiti adalah sinus, infeksi telinga, dan gangguan saluran pernafasan.

Pengambilan jenis makanan yang dianjurkan adalah hidangan laut, semua jenis telur (kecuali telur itik) (OMG!! my fav..huhu~), susu fermentasi (melalui proses penapaian), minyak zaitun, minyak kacang soya, minyak kacang tanah, kacang tanah, semua jenis sayuran kecuali jagung, taugeh dan cendawan dan semua jenis buah-buahan kecuali jeruk(jeruk buah pickle? suke bug mac!!..huhu~). Golongan daripada jenis darah ini, harus menghadkan pengambilan daging lembu, udang dan ikan laut, susu dan semua produk susu serta daging yang diproses (daging? huhu..susu lg.gud bye cik susu~). Makanan berasaskan kekacang pula perlu diambil dalam kuantiti sedikit. Kurangkan pengambilan berasaskan gandum seperti roti, kek, kuih-muih dan pasta.(oh my..gud bye new york cheese cake...gud by san remo..gud bye butterscoth..huhuhu...)

Ciri khas individu jenis darah AB:

• Memiliki sistem pencernaan yang sensitif
• Disarankan untuk mengambil makanan dalam kuantiti sedikit tetapi kerap
• Untuk lebih bertenaga olahraga pada setiap pagi digalakkan (olahraga depan pc aci x? oh2..g klas pg2 jln kaki kre senaman gak kan? ^_^)

Menu diet yang dianjurkan:

Sarapan : Air limau nipis, jus anggur, roti dua potong beserta satu potong keju (yes! cheese!!)

Snek : Yogurt (ewwww~)

Makan Tengahari : Dada ayam empat hirisan, salad, dua biji buah plum dan teh herba ( 4 hirisan? xsuke plum..huhu~)

Snek: Kek keju dan teh herba (yey!! td ckp xley mkn cake!! yes2..cheese cake!! i'm coming!! ^_^)

Makan Malam : Omelet dan salad buah serta kopi (nescafe!! yes2!)

ohoho..well..i hope my blood is ab! love the suggestions!! hehe~

ok2...back to study..hmm..last night..i did a bit of think thought session..well..eda went away so was left alone..huhu..this always my best time cos i can think n reflect my life..(sbb kalo eda ada slalu borak je..haha..) so it make me think..why am i sooo gatal this few days...well i attended k zura's wedding maybe thats why..then k na said en jazaidi told her that he wanted to tell her we hoping for a proposal here (so happy for her! lucky her..cant wait for mine too ^_^) then seeing eda n rijal, hani n wan and all my friends who are happy with their love life...huhu..sometimes it make me sad looking at their happiness..but i konw i shouldnt..i should be happy for them too...after some think thoughts and i started to think..maybe Allah doesnt want me to have all those happiness yet..He has all the reasons to do i just need to be patient..its just not my time i just need to focus on my studies...but satan came..but there's also saying that we need to work towards it to acheive should i do? some say university is the place where u can find someone and know them..huhu..well..i got someone...but that someone havent say anything that can make me certain that he's the one..can u just say it?! i cant be saying it first cos u r the guy..huhu~ i am eyeing this 2 persons...but their responses still in the 1st not hoping much..huhu..gosh! need to focus2!! finals is coming! i hate this cos it always come across during this time..time2 nk kn focus ni la mcm2 dtg~ focus azy focus!!

so..before i end this entry i would like to wish all the best to my fellow friends for the coming exam! all the best for everything u do!! study smart dont just study hard people! the truth is i still do get the differents..haha~

peace n out ^_^

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

so many things to do!!

i was doing msian studies essay when i come across this article:
taken from

Dr. Mahathir akan terus berperang, tahniah alumni UiTM!

TUN Dr. Mahathir Mohamad berusia 84 jika ikut tahun lahirnya 1925. Kalau tak silap beliau sering mengaku sedikit muda. Ia hanya dibezakan dengan bulan. Dilahirkan pada 10 Julai, tapi didaftar kelahiran pada 20 Disember. Jika dikaji secara biologi dan fisiologi, beliau memang nampak muda. Namun, beliau semestinya berbangga berada dalam usia itu. Satu kumpulan usia yang terlalu sedikit jumlahnya di negara ini.

Saya pula baru berusia separuh usia negarawan itu. Tidak pasti apakah kita akan sampai ke usia sebegitu? Pada hari Ahad lalu di satu kempen jantung sihat Walk-a-mile atau Jalan Sebatu beliau berjalan bersama-sama peserta lain sejauh lebih sebatu.

"Beliau hanya penat sikit selepas sampai ke garisan penamat," kata Nasir Ali, pengarah eksekutif Kumpulan Utusan yang turut sama berjalan bersama beliau.

Orang tua, yang dikenali dalam blog yang paling popular di Malaysia sebagai blogger Che Det itu sungguh hebat. Selain dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik, beliau ternyata tahu menjaga dirinya. Mungkin juga pengaruh isteri yang menyihatkannya, lantas memanjangkan usianya. Tun Dr. Siti Hasmah Mohd. Ali setahun muda daripada beliau, juga sihat dan sama-sama berjalan sebatu. Mereka adalah pasangan doktor yang ideal.

Kelmarin (pagi Isnin) beliau hadir di satu syarahan perdana dikenali sebagai Wacana Intelek Ulung anjuran Persatuan Alumni UiTM Malaysia - pertubuhan yang disegarkan semula dengan ahli terkumpul sejumlah 350,000 orang. Syarahan itu diadakan di pejabat Tun di Yayasan Kepimpinan Perdana di Putrajaya.

Ketibaannya dengan isteri ke dalam auditorium tepat jam 10.30 pagi diberi tepukan berdiri oleh para hadirin yang terdiri daripada kira-kira 200 alumni jemputan. Tidak perlu disebut mengapa beliau dihormati sebegitu rupa. Dulu orang membencinya, kini orang menghormatinya. Malah, di universiti sendiri yang dulu ramai warga akademik mengkritiknya, kini terpaksa memetik semula kata-katanya.

Itulah aura Tun. Seorang negarawan yang tidak perlu diperincikan lagi.

Tidak perlulah juga disebut mengapa beliau dipilih sebagai pensyarah sulung untuk wacana ini. Ia adalah kerana beliau terlalu dekat dengan ITM, kata presiden persatuan, Datuk Seri Ir. Mohd. Zin Mohamed semasa mencadangkan namanya.

Tunlah orangnya yang menaikkan taraf ITM kepada sebuah universiti. Maka, tidak hairanlah beliau adalah tokoh yang paling tepat dijemput untuk membuka tirai siri syarahan perdana itu.

Semasa bertemu Tun dalam satu pertemuan di sebuah lagi pejabat beliau di No. 88 Jalan Perdana dekat Tasik Perdana Julai lalu, saya ada berbisik kepada beliau mengenai hasrat persatuan alumni UiTM mahu menjemputnya ke wacana itu. Mendengarkan kata-kata itu beliau semacam teruja.

Beliau terus memandang ke arah muka saya. "UiTM! ok...ok... hantar surat kepada saya."

Kelmarin, beliau sekali lagi merasa teruja. Hadir dan berdiri selama dua jam di rostrum, tanpa berganjak. Hanya sekali kelihatan meneguk air, Tun bercakap mengenai satu topik yang paling digemarinya iaitu mengenai globalisasi dan dunia tanpa sempadan.

Bertajuk Strategi Memartabatkan Melayu di Dunia Tanpa Sempadan beliau memperincikan secara detail mengenai sejarah dunia, sejarah asal-usul Melayu - satu bangsa yang amat lemah yang sentiasa tunduk kepada kuasa-kuasa besar, yang walaupun lemah, katanya "mereka (Melayu) masih hidup sehingga ke hari ini."

"Walaupun mereka (Melayu) terbahagi dan dibahagi sepanjang masa, mereka masih survivedan dapat membentuk negeri-negeri dan melantik raja-raja."

Beliau turut menyentuh mengenai negerinya, Kedah yang dikenali sebagai Kedah Tua (lebih tua dari Melaka), yang raja-rajanya bermurah hati memberi sebahagian negerinya kepada raja-raja lain sehingga terbentuknya Perlis. Malah katanya, bekas kawasan Parlimen pilihan rayanya, Kubang Pasu pun hampir-hampir menjadi sebuah negeri. "Jika tidak, saya akan menjadi ahli Parlimen sebuah negeri," selorohnya.

Sejarah baginya amat istimewa sekali. Semasa menjadi Presiden UMNO dulu pun, Tun sering kali memulakan ucapan presidencynya dengan kisah-kisah sejarah yang perlu diteladani. Benar tanpa sejarah, sesebuah tamadun tidak boleh dibentuk. Dan, perlu diingat sejarah (terutama mengenai kisah-kisah malang) boleh berulang semula.

Beliau kemudian bertanya kepada audien, apakah kita akan terus survive dengan globalisasi ini atau terus hilang di muka bumi ini?

Apa yang beliau katakan di atas itu penuh dengan makna yang tersirat dan tersurat. Apakah kita perlu terlalu bermurah hati? Orang Melayu ialah satu bangsa yang amat bermurah hati, suka memberi.

Singapura hilang, kata Tun, diserahkan kepada pemerintah negara itu sekarang dengan hanya 60,000 ringgit pada masa itu. Atau sekarang hanya bernilai tiga kaki persegi di pulau itu!

"Hanya orang yang lemah akan hilang tanah airnya. Ia mungkin tidak akan berlaku lagi, tapi ia boleh berlaku," nasihat beliau.

Pada usia seperti itu (usia yang rata-rata lebih tua daripada bapa-bapa kita sendiri) ia adalah nasihat seorang bapa kepada anaknya. Tapi Tun, ialah seorang bapa yang amat degil. Selama 20 tahun saya membuat liputan mengenai beliau, waima ke merata dunia sekali pun, itulah nasihat yang sering saya dengar dan saya tulis. Itulah celoteh yang sering disebut ke telinga kita sehingga ke hari ini.

Konsep baru penjajahan Barat ini perlu dikaji dan dipelajari, katanya. Barat kini bukan lagi menjajah secara berperang dengan senjata, tapi mereka menggunakan budaya, ekonomi dan perdagangan bagi mendominasi sesebuah negara.

Mereka turut menekan kita supaya menerima fahaman mereka. Mungkin kita boleh menerima konsep demokrasi mereka, tapi kata Dr. Mahathir "saya tidak boleh menerima sama sekali konsep demokrasi liberal mereka."

Liberal dalam serba-serbi. Termasuklah apabila kita dipaksa menerima Perjanjian Perdagangan Bebas (FTA) - satu perjanjian yang melibatkan urus niaga dua hala yang berat sebelah.

Apakah kita mahu berkorban dengan perjanjian itu? Saya tidak akan bersetuju semuanya, mungkin separuh bolehlah, kata beliau ketika menjawab soalan seorang peserta semasa sesi dialog selepas syarahannya.

Beliau turut menasihatkan orang Melayu supaya terus berubah. Ubahlah budaya malas yang orang lain pernah cap kepada kita. Gejala rasuah, pula di kalangan orang Melayu, katanya "sudah terlalu teruk sekali" - juga harus diubah.

Pendek kata, syarahannya penuh dengan kata-kata hikmah. Para hadirin nampak puas dengan syarahan itu. Presiden alumni, Zin pun kelihatan puas. Sekali lagi Tun diberikan tepukan berdiri. Itulah Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, negarawan ulung yang tidak perlu diperincikan lagi.

Ucapan serta transkrip penuh beliau dan video YouTube akan boleh diikuti menerusi laman web persatuan:

Seorang sahabat yang juga alumni, Shamsul yang turut mengikuti syarahan itu berbisik kepada saya: "Tengoklah, susah nak cari lagi orang seperti itu." Seorang lagi sahabat yang juga pegawai Tun, Sufi berkata: "Itulah Mahathir, sangat konsisten."

Benar, kata-kata mereka, Tun sangat konsisten dengan prinsipnya. Selagi hayat dikandung badan, beliau akan terus berperang dengan kata-katanya.

Malah minggu depan mulai 28 hingga 31 Oktober, Tun sekali lagi akan berperang dengan kata-katanya. Beliau yang juga Pengerusi Pertubuhan Keamanan Global Perdana (PGPO) akan mempengerusikan Persidangan Menjenayahkan Perang (Criminalise War) ( di PWTC. Satu perjuangan menentang kezaliman dan keganasan peperangan atas nama kemanusiaan.

Jangan lepaskan peluang hadir ke persidangan itu pula.

n Penulis juga ialah Naib Presiden Persatuan Alumni UiTM Malaysia

Tun is someone that everyone look up to..i do admire him but when it comes to this kind of things..and when he starts opposite current ruler such as pak lah..i cant really accept it..but still interested in his way of thinking~

thats all..just stoping by~

peace n out ^_^

Sunday, October 18, 2009

sengih sampai telinga~



Saturday, October 17, 2009

saturday..felt like its already sunday~


hoho..wokeup 6.40am for subuh..haish..its gettin late by day..huhu..last night went to hani's house then arrived on bed at 10pm..then slept till this morning...need sleep..last 2 days lepak at libry till 3am then slept at 5am (gosip2 ngn shida.haha) woke up at 9am..then 10pm sleep..haish..its i feel like sleeping the whole day..but i cant cos need to prepare for emd presentation and numec..but the numec think dont need to do much cos its all here..huhu...well not in mood to say much bout numec..the fight of cos..haish..

finally yet importantly..haha...just found this phase..might be using this for essay later.. for emd ppt, intro msian studies, essay? huhu..emd hw due 19..and emf due 3/11(which i havent found in my thousand of emails..haish~)

ok2..concentrate!!! yosh!!!

oh yea..might be doing industrial training next yesterday had a briefing then dr azree told us to do a blog!! haha..thank God i love be prepared to read mostly more formal wording (essay like i supposed since dr azree said he want to read everyone's blog...haha yea rite!) but i think all this while it has been quite formal isnt it..since ajoy said he cant read it..haha..when dr azree to us to start blogging, i heard so many voices..they dont want to blog..never mind them..i started thinking why i love blog so much..i do really like reading but to me pouring everything in blog means something more than letting go some of ur feeling but also to friends who also love blogging its a way to tell them stories about u to them without taking their time..cos its up to them when to read in and whether to read it or not..hehe..anyhow..i do love to tell stories..:D

okies..thats all..need to do things now..yosh!!

peace n out ^_^

Friday, October 16, 2009

so not my day~

salam~ bestie did her thing turn to turn my back on her..cos all this while..its her who did that and i'm just being me..go back n cry and regret why we even be much not in common..too much secrecy..cant live with i'm glad its the end now..but just another week b4 finals..sorry i tell this here..feel the need to let these out..told eda..and again i cried over this stupid thing! i always know this would happen..and again i always forgive n forget..not knowing when i should stop giving her another chance..

hehe..current issue..big big mac today..huu~

ok2..back to studies..trying hard to master emd..need to!! its supposed to be my subject! so tomorrow is emd day!

hopefully..tomorrow is waaaayy better than today ^_^

peace n out ^_^

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang~


pagi yg cemerlang everyone!! hopefully today will be a good one..not fasting..just had sardin sandwich with some strawberry jem..was ok..huhu...with yesterday my tummy rumbling2..haish..not long till i will be forced to the toilet..hoho..then need to mandi as well...very2 sejuk this morning..came back from library around 2am last night then it was raining...sleep like a baby! love it..and to my surprise i managed to wake up and still standing till now..haha..hope will stand till the end of today..yosh!!

ok..maybe will go n see tokbak for some tips..he will be going 4 aussie dont know when..huhu..thought he will be going today..but k na said he still here tmorrow which is good news for me n yuva.haha..

oh..yesterday saw 4/5 xcept for AKyP..haha..but for sure i was not that happy compared to last event..hehe..that one didnt smile at me so my happiness scale wast that full last night..but still managed to smile while concentrating hard on the book..yea rite..haha~

thought of going to library again tonight...but after dinner date with miza,lyza,mia,farah hehe~

okies..another news..maybe will get numec paper back pray for me yea! CUAK!!! :D

peace n out ^_^

Monday, October 12, 2009

suci day~


today i wore my sweet cotton baju kurung..and i always felt extra suci wearing this baju now its already 4.22pm..what i can conclude for now is..i love today!! i felt suci! and i saw AKyP! i felt happier..i was having discussion with msian studies group at COE food court then we had lunch..the he my surprise he sat right in front of me..eda was somewhere behind..she n rijal called just to laugh at me..they saw he sat there and they knew how i would react..haha..thanx Allah i didnt take any caffien i am me..hehe..gosh..but i just can't look at him..its too near ok..just few glances..:D gosh! sorry readers..i am a bit carried away this time..but my regret was..i didnt even dare to smile at him..i know he was time maybe..haha~then around 1pm..mia called and asked me to teman her lunch..well she my cyg i teman her...then i sat there doing my emf assignment(well copying..huhu...) then somehow..i felt something..gosh..i knew i will see someone..hmm..there are 2 of usharieren target so i dont know which..then saw a friend from islamic studies..when i was talking to him..mia was kicking me under the table..i thought she wanted to tell me that guy was hot or somthing but then gosh!! again it was him..gosh!! my debar2 perot was because of him..haish..gosh again! hehe..then mia said he sat somewhere that for sure he can see me..hehe..well i think all my dear friends are just trying to make me happy by saying those..but i do glad they approved my usha target this time :D

ok2...tonight i might be going to COIT to do some serious lets plan what to do then:

1)numec due thursday
2)emf-due 3/11
3)msian studies..asap!!

1)numec-due 20/10
2)emd-present on 20/10 too..huhu..dead!
3)islamic studies-discussion tmorrow after emd
4)msian studies-over the weekend..huhu~ life is in a bit catastropher..mis frau lenz! she's always said many work so my thing to do plus studying..but so little time!!! help help me please!!! :D

peace n out ^_^

Sunday, October 11, 2009

raining outside n inside~


happy sunday everyone!! so been long since i last wrote sooooo much to do but i still havent finished today last day of this everything need to be done by 12pm today..bcause after that need to do something else other than assignments..huhu..hopefully..oh..yeah its raining outside..finally..feel like going back to sleep..hehe..but no no..kakak say i need to mail her the emd assignment asap..huhu..ok kakak..working on it..

i just did something that i know somehow would hurt me..without thinking long i did it and i did end-up hurt..i still asking myself..will all this work in the end? it hurts so much but i still fell that i want to wait till the end..but why? keep on asking the same question all these years~ list for today~
emd-hybrid car
emf assignment345
msian studies..haish~
numec-due thursday

so finals in 2 weeks...chaiyok everyone!!! :D

peace n out ^_^

Saturday, October 3, 2009

still in dat mode~


gosh! robogamez! it was nice..our job just to give out playcard(pelikat..haha~)..basically..playcard is the card those participants need b4 ebtering the game friday n today..we met all the participants..hoho..superb! i even met cikgu wan of maresmart! she was my physics teacher! god i missed her..she was the reason i decided to take nuclear energy in the first seem her dream still havent come true..sori master will lead to nuke insyallah! oh..n yeah..i got few admirers..haha..ita la ckp..hoho..perasan..but tomorrow is the last its enjoy weekend then next week onward need to give full throttle! finals on 27th! huhu~

hearttache cleared..i supposed..senyap tanda stuju i supposed..if not then more us..huhu..sad but what can i do..its my choice then its his to approve it or not..guess he made his own guess here i go by my own again..terlintas td maybe i wont get married ever kot..dh kalo trauma camnenye kan? *sigh~

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

numec week~


yesterday was a disaster day but it ended so well..^_^ emf test was not so good as i mistake~ right after the test me n mia(goda by me ^_^) joined idalia n k azua 2nd karok session!! hehe..3 hours! gosh! i was shy few moments then when got the feel..haha.only god knows..shocked myself! cant believe i did sang infront of other human..haha..(b4 this just cats listen to my singing..haha..lucky none got hurt *wink2*

then robogamez meeting alsa was a session of "sape xde keje?" haha..funny...but i was bit extra energetic last reason..but maybe because i felt not few friends..ita,fatehah,syima,yuva, jiaying,rueben hadi topek. haha..thats all i few new faces i smiled to..haha..i am getting weirder by day but trying not to like much *wink2..again~~

today: i was all excited to go to class..still not knowing why..with my baju raya lg..haha..funny..why am i so excited? got class only at 11am but i went to coe at 8.30am..then revised some numec..then emf at 11am which got cancelled then wait with idalia then islamic studies at masjid..went with farah..hoho..miza got new kelisa! great news! the another assignment for islamic studies..might be doing something on marriage..haha..more kontrobesi miza said~ it~

so here's list of things to do before finals~
1)pay hostel n no eating outside *haish..anyone want to donate rm700 to me?
2)assignment: islamic and emf
3)projects: hibrid cars for emd
fish feeder for numec
health n food for msian studies..
4)study study study..1st priority is emd..then numec..then emf..ikal..those need last minute studies(reading subject maa.. ;p) any target? huhu..sadly cant say~

so thats all..4 crucial killing tasks that i need to do bfore finals that going to start on 27 oct 2009~

wish me luck~

peace n out ^_^

Monday, September 28, 2009

the battle has begin!


ok..not much to say..felt the tense of exams 2 test this week..gosh.i though 2nd of oct will be next here's the battle~

1)emf-29/9 2pm
2)numec-2/10 5pm

final..well it still draft but i'm praying hard it will stick this way so that none will be cramped in a day..cos i'll just die if they did~

tue 27/10- msian studies 9am
fri 30/10 -islamic studies 9am
sun 1/11 -numec 2.30pm
wed 4/11 emf 9am
fri 6/11 emd 9am

result will be out on 25 november 2009!!! arrrrgggggghhhh~

so frens..please please please pray for me ok...this sem is getting tougher by day..and i'm so scared~

peace n out T_T

Sunday, September 27, 2009

yey japg hujan!!


haish..i was back on friday...friday night i slept for 2 hours then facebooking till subuh then slept the whole day..then saturday night went out with ainul..then do emd..then karok sorg2 dlm bilik till subuh..haha...then slept till almost i'm blogging..haish haish and haish~

ok2..let's plan what to do today:
1)ZOHOR..hehe..bru kol 12 kot.procrastinator~
2) 2 lg..consist of 6 long long long long questions with answers to be copied right from the en chapman..yosh!
3)emf!! test on tuesday!! haish~ mn la tokbaknye email nih..kate nk antar last week..haish la tok bak~
4)hmm..what else? nk mandi lg ke? pg td b4 subuh dh dh japg ujan..sejuk..hmm..nk mandi ke xyah..xyah la~:D
5)xley tido sbb sok dh skolah..kalo tido takot mlm ni xley tido so kalo mlm ni xtido maka so pg nk xley tido sbb de klas..kalo nk tggu pas klas bru nk tido hmmm harapan harap2 ley la tongkat mata smpai mlm ni..yosh!
6)will stop my bebel even without voices..haha..boleh ke?
7)will stop stalking..haha..but those live at i6..please2..dont bersiap with ur windows open..u r making me stalk u without me realizing it..funny to see fellow gilrs getting ready..well i am a girl but i dont stand on my bed to see my entire with the wide opened window..lolz~

okies...almost 1pm..better stop now..think change my mind..mandi2...panas lak..cepat2...b4 azan zohor..kang en syaiton join skali~

peace n out ^_^

Saturday, September 26, 2009

slamat smapai ke sarang~


i am at ilmu now..not knowing what to feel..but my head felt lighter..somehow i felt i manage to put that aside now..hope he can go through with this just fine..insyaallah~ did eat a lot today..last time on scale..gosh..really need to puasa 6..even if i cant maybe tmorrow will start fasting again..insyallah..having big mac(thanx ainul for the treat :D) for sahur..oh yea the story...we drove back from aloq staq around 12pm..she drove till tapah then we sopped for solat then i continue till nilai..dropping said there..met his parents..and his luvly sister,nadia..really is lovely...a real amina from nur kasih for me..cute..oh..his mother make traditional fav kapal terbang too...might order some btang buruk too next time..nyum2~ gosh..start thinking bout food again? stop2..oh..back to the story...arrived at nilai around 6.30pm..journey was kinda smooth..not so heavy traffic but gosh..all r&r we checked were all packed with human...everywhere..i even postpone my 'qado hajat' ;p till we reached tapah..u know how dirty a public toilet can be..haish...pasrah je thats it..all thanx to en tongkat ali ali cafe i can make it to kl without sleep..haha..i cant hardly remember when was the last time i stay awake all the way from kdh to kl or kl to's a long way u know..congrats to me..haha~

examine my hands..gosh..i have 4 scars..well..not really scars la..just some scratches given by jojo abg ja's cat..she really is a nice girl but mayb dont really know how to save her claws for somthing else other my cutes hands sje gatal nk try poking around..well..i does hurt ok..haish jojo jojo...miss u already~

oh..heard this song in ainul's car for the first time today..then en shahrul mentioned it again so..maybe it should meant something for me..haha..silly me for believing something like this kan ;p

Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You

You know I Can't Smile Without You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If You only knew what I'm going through,
I just Can't Smile Without You.
You came along just like a song
and brightened my day,
Who'd've believe that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away.
And now you know I Can't Smile WIthout You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh and I can't sing,
I'm finding it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew what I'm going through,
I just can't smile.
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find.
Well I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me.
And you see,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel glad when you're glad,
I feel sad when you're sad,

If You only knew what I'm going through,
I just Can't Smile Without You

ps: it's all fake..but trying hard to make it real after this~
i'm sorry for all..its hard even to read ur sad status..if it was for me..i really am is for our sake..hope the future will be better~

why i still hope u would read this?

okies..nothing much i can say anymore..i need to kalo mama tau i was surfing since i got back..gosh..only Allah know what will happen to me ;p miss mama already~

okies..peace n out! ^_^