raya ooh raya~

salam~

happy aidil adha too all muslims out there! hope u have a very happy raya! cos i am~ :D

yesterday: after subuh helped abah with bihun sup..yes no nasi this raya..its ok..we r on diet ;p then round 8am went for solat raya..and to my surprise i did listen to the whole khutbah (haha..i usually fell asleep rite after the solat..hehe..bad me ;p) and ot really touched my feelings..but i dont know why this year..raya seems so wonderful..tears and thoughts are daily..still not sure why..my heart felt softer now..but it's harden in other parts~

today: after subuh..me and abah went to g lengkuas..we r doing korban this year..and mama out my name..so i need to be there..and i watched the entire process! from pulling the cow out from the kandang to the agihan..the shocking part of cos the sembelih part..huhu..at that moment i thought i would never eat any living animals ever! but the time of agihan..i stated drooling..sging rebus cicah air asam..sup tulang..dging msk kicap..all come across my mind..erasing the bloody thoght i collected earlier..hehe..but just to make it go away..i said to myself..they were created to be our food..since Allah didnt forbid them..so its our duty to eat them so..hehehe..so..back at home..there goes gulai rebung, cicah2..dging kicap..and bbq..hehehe~ gosh i hopethey wont come after me in my dreams..erk~

::summary of this 3 weeks holidays::

i watched the finale of nur kasih..fyi..i wasnt a fan of that drama..well..too much drama..and its on friday..plus the fact of us not having tv at hostel..so better keep out..so..its holiday..and tv3 was repeatng the series..and i watched few episodes and..typical malays dramas..even if we missed the early episodes u stil can catch up even if u only watch the finale ;p so the same with nur kasih..no doubt the storyline is waaaay better than any other series (malay's) the massage is clear..love of Islam and love that exists in sake of Allah..(cinta yg berlandaskan Islam..sorry not sure how to put it in english properly T_T) i did cried after nur and adam met and when she brought adam back to his mother..and love the love of adam n aidil..and between nur and sarah..such lovely relationships that i wonder if i ever gonna experience such~

another tears was for hajj..it touches me each time they talk bout hajj..and for the first time..i really felt that i need to be there..i need to plan ahead..not just for my working life but also..my islamic journey..mama said..next time i'm back..we should go to tabung haji n register..so that in another 5 or 6 years time we will be able to go there..one of the reason..is the climbing high cost for hajj packages..at first we were planning on going somewhere bit futher this time..then..came umrah packages..and its soo expensive now..and mama said..with assari murni..its the best..but they dont offer much..so the i clicked on hajj packages..they offer a full package for rm25000..gosh!..that the price u pay for a comfy islamic journey nowadays..but mama say..it will worth every cents..so thats the turning point of me having this soft feeling..huhu..really felt small..watching those pilgrims at mekah n madinah..i wonder..if it is going to be the end of the world this coming 2012..so i would never going to make it there...T_T so i will now on..start being good..of better than who i was all this while..bit by bit is changing...i no longer hope for that one duniawi gold..but there's something greater than that behind all those things i wished for..its all just pleasures that can be obtained here on earth but we forgetting that we are not long here..there's some other place that we r going to live longer..in fact..for eternity..so 1600! i will have u in no time..insyaallah~

heart: its divided into 3 now..soft: medium : rock hard

soft: those teary event touches here..so..cant help to cry so much..well always like this since..forever kot ;p

medium: when i find it hard to argue..i just find my own way out by keeping the thoughts to myself..better say less than listening more ;p

hard: rebellious ones..ngengada ones..attention seeking ones..love me not ones..dont care bout me but urself onces..felt sooo perfect ones..well..u deserve this..dont feel weird when i turn this 3rd switch on..cos its ur own fault i did..

i am just a simple girls who sumtimes accidentally be bad of some reasons..maybe because i cant stand it anymore..have u ever think bout that? i always wanted to create a persona lile nur..its so lovely..but she too have her limit..so thats how real woman is..we do react to situations..accordingly~

another thing i learned this holiday..less caffeine makes our brain function clearer n calmer..and less annoying~

sorry if any heart scratched by this words of mine..its true and this is how i felt bout world today..we are away for Allah and islamic way of life..even the so called wiser in religion seems corrupted enough to have less respects from the commoners~

again..thousands apologizes..starting a new life this new sem..oh and have a brighter yet eventful semester ahead..hope less drama for me too ;p

peace n out ^_^

ps: i'll post my class timetable later..need to amend something first this Wednesday oh n mission is having super heavy unavoidable unfortunate obstacle..huhu~