Monday, August 31, 2009

morning thoughts~


3days holidays..sounds superb..but its already tomorrow class? haha..gosh..time do fly fast~

last 2days was superb! spent with shopping..never been better...but supposed to say window shopping was because didnt buy much..i lost my appetite for shopping..really troubling..well..enough said..i needed time to get away..thats thats what i did..thanx to eda rijal and kak na...thanx all!! thats exactly what i need these week maybe with fendi on saturday and shida on week's monday will be a rest day...then the week after that i will be going home! yey! cant wait..miss kanji..will definitely ask abah to cook some ikan asam..nyum2...bought presents for their birthday..but told mama already so its no really a surprise..haha..they wont mind i know..

what to do today? i have malaysian studies take home test to do for thursday, emf quiz tomorrow, emd..need to do cathing up..gosh..this is my biggest regret this weeks...its supposed to be MY to see tuan rashid passion when he talks about power plants and all..fasinating...i really want to be in his shoes!! ir!! ayahanda..

i am still checking my emails...gosh..i really do need broadband...everyday almost 100mail in..really took ages with uni's that cought my attention was the usual horoscope..not that i believe it 100% but the coincident was here what today's says

Dear Azyy,
Here is your horoscope for
Monday, August 31:
You get an important message in your sleep tonight -- one that might take a while to translate. It's best if you can write down your dreams for review in a few weeks or months to see what you can make of it then.

hmm..what was on my dream? i was dreaming of going back to bali..going to tebing spot that i marked on the first day there..sounded nice..they said there has a Pura which built by the cliff..gosh..the Tanah Lot Pura was superb..they said tebing was even better..gosh! really felt going there again!! huhu..but the dream wasnt really good..i was about escaping the big waves on land..but relatingto my feeling has been 3 days i felt this way..heart ponding..worries of the unknown..yesterday left eye moved (u know what i meant rite?..) was thinking of my parents..i called them there was ok..or maybe they didnt tell..but by the thought of it i think fendi too felt the same..because he's the one called me first...hmm..wonder what happened...mama and abah were ok.....then my thought flew 'there'..was it? would it? what if? when? gosh...gotta stop thinking bout this...need to focus..anything happens..or going to happen..i will leave it to Allah..if He think thats what i deserve..i will learn to accept it..knowing it maybe would bring much more good in later life...insyaallah~

quote of the moment:

if u love something let it go,
if it comes back to you it's yours,
if it doesnt,
it never yours..

so just wait and see Allah works his miracles~

still havent finish dan brown..haha...when will i finished this? only god knows..haha..hmm..what else? thats all for now..

peace n out ^_^


Sunday, August 30, 2009

a plastic daisy~


Daisy is a flower primarily of the Asteraceae family..appear to be strong but later the stem lost the grace and the flower just fell down..unlike me..i would be strong enough to endure any of nature challenge...while others seem to shy away during nights..i would just be the same..standing here strong days and wont change me at all..but as an artificial flower..those would be like a history made to believe...just something that i'm not but as the sake of my name..i would be considered same as others of my species..but deep down..i'm all ways different..because..i am a plasctic daisy..

though i'm plastic..there are few advantage..i wont need to be watered, i wont need to be fertalize so that i would give them more flowers..foremost..i wont need the LOVE to make me grow big and beautiful...i would be glad enough if someone would buy me and place me somewhere around the corner..just the sake of being house decoration...i wont mind..or i couldnt mind much of this facts...just realizing that i am just a PLASTIC DAISY.

once before i heared bout a story of pinochio..sometimes i wonder..does fairies realy do exist? because i really need to meet one..i wanted to be a REAL that i would be loved and cherish by that they could watered that then i can smile to them more that then i can make them a little more happier..

i'm just a plastic daisy..always..i always envy those real daisy...envy them just by the look of their face..they role of giving human happiness when receiving them..envy them when human planted them and lovingly cared..watered by love and food..envy them when they can smile more brightly than i am..but what can i do..i am just a plastic daisy..

human keep me just because they felt the need of having flowers in the house..just because someof their friend have it..they just dont want to feel the difference by not having some..then they bought me and palce me near a corner..since bought..they hardly notice me..just once and a while they came by..have a glance..clear the dust here and there..just so that later when their friends stop by..they do have flower in the house..god..i need those care and attention..i wish i could run that i can find a better owner..a better home to live in..or maybe just by the that i could feel how does it feel if i were a real daisy..

i wish~

Thursday, August 27, 2009

tribute to AKYP~


hehe..merujuk kepada perkara di atas..cewah..ok2..straight to the point..hmm..observation today shows that he do speaks..haha..sorry..i know he speaks but today i saw one..haha..didnt hear unfortunately..few of unaccidentally accident..but unobvious one...still remain calm..thanx to nescafe-free day today...hehe..felt excited all night..then he left rite after terawih..i wonder why there's so many people left without doing witir..its the closure..well maybe they wanted to do some more..well..think positive...hmm..then i stayed for some tadarus..its friday night..then when i came eda's sms..she saw him at upten...SMOKING!!! OMG!! there it that might end it all..smoking took 70% off the interest..then just left 30% pure weird might me my last entry bout him...huhu...smoke..why? why? seem too nice to mature to smoke..but then again..he do bye then AKyP...adois till next admiration which is not so kept as a secret..

nicest day of da week...


haha..dont know why i say nicest..but now its no so much nice anymore cause i need to go find ticket for tomorrow..haish..mcm ade je lg..huhu..mama ni...but the reason of this pening2 is fendi..he suddenly asked if i wanted to open fast with them at hotel next week..huhu..what question was that? surely i want!! haha..but i forgot that i was supposed to go back on friday next week..huhu..then what to do? go back this week la..huhu...not that i dont want to go back..but just that i already planned of what i will do this weekend..huhu..and going back is in the now..i am checking on each transportation means known...train..plane..bus..huhu...why of why..still havent found any..lazy want to go to kajang..huhu..

ok..just been alive again (just woke up ;p) i decided to go back in next 2 weeks time...hehe..not exactly as planned..but ok la..a week b4 raya..the possiblility of flying with mas is 80%..haha..2nd time flying alone...hoho...suddenly hoping AKyP would join me..hahah..very the gatal..haha..hmm..ok2..enough2..need to behave myself...last night saw him..he is kinda weird..always alone..thats what interests me..haha..just to know how he is..that's it...nothing the look of him..he doesnt really look like someone that would like a company..look like he prefer to be by himself...thats all i can say for now..observation will be that i got a subject to hobby is becoming more and more interesting ;p

thats all for today...hoho..1st time my entry took more than half hour to finish..haha...

peace n out ^_^

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

terlepas lak~

hehe..additional..this what my horoscope say today..haha..sgt kebetulan nmpaknye ;p

Sure, it's been fun stealing glimpses, trying to arrange 'coincidental' meetings and asking surreptitious questions of mutual friends, but it's time to put it all on the table. The results might be fabulous!

finally the rain came down~


islamic studies' test is canceled..well..not sure if he mean postpone..but the word he use just now was wonder i didnt felt like studying..hmm..but now i do have mood for malaysian this means tomorrow's test is evening need to go to the masjid for bke puasa with sultan..haish..the email say we need to be there at 5pm but..who would? me n housmates are going at 6pm..haha..sorry ye en few works to do..numec quiz,emf question(which supposed to be quiz question next week..haha), and emd(but tuan rasyid is going away next week..sooo...weehuuu~ ;p) need time to study..he's away mean i can get some time for cathing up..huhu..let behide so much i think..not sure what i did all this while..its it when tuan rasyid looked at me in class..haha..just because lyza wasnt there..haha..or was he mistaken me for her..haha..thats even funnier..anyhow..i did felt like asking him i want to go with him to bakun...well..he's definitely my idol now...aeverything he do now is exactly what i have i mind for the! amaze...tnb actualy asked him to go there to give lecture to the engineers..n i heard its will be ready in news i heard that 1 of nurul's friends soraya is going there too under alstrom...hmm..bakun is my target..but same goes with schlumberger..hmmm oil or hydro? haha..let time decide on that to focus..focus...focus..

i was forcing myself to i felt a bit relief..just a bit...what was discussed just now in emf with kakak ;p is definitely another relief...thanx kak ;p really felt empty now..even the AKyP not inside my head anymore...thanx to eda for that one...this empty is good...need it now..i just dont mind u said before..just wait till the time comes..i will~

hmm..first project!! islamic studies..gosh..need to sell sumthing at bazaar ramadhan...hmm..50% profit will go to charity...sound ok..but the procedures...haish..ok2...positive2...
ps: funny the way he looked at averyone was wondering who was that guy...not even an intro..just the fact that he represent unicommserve..(mind the spelling ;p) buncit tu penyayang ye ita? haha..

hmm...thanx to uniten we can again have this blog its my rutine to write here...pouring some of everything...just so that they dont have to hear all from my bullet train speech..hehe..pity eda for that..sorry darling~

oh..last nite..bke puasa at pizza..with my sayang(ita..haha) my and(k na..haha again) and my ber(eda..hahaha...) rijal, mirul mas and fifi..was a short one..arrived at 6.30 back at 8.30..haish..2 hours? haish...its ok2..a good way to prevent overflowing of ka-ching ;p

hmm...the theme song is on..still...but the feeling is graduallly decrease..gud for me..not sure how the other part...well..bored wit me perhaps? could u just tell me? keeping silence like this wont settle a thing..n its a torture to me..a one sided torture i supposed..

hmm...the dark seem clearing out a little...came again when i heard those love birds and nite..trying hard to be a good friend..the problem is just why should i spread it to that the know what i felt? not helping..but do appreaciate what they do by not asking but focusing on avoiding me think bout it...good for me..again..felt sorry if u ever read this..this is the feeling i just couldnt find a way to tell...but the request for not asking those kind of things just unacceptable...pretend that i can...but who could? unique is me...but it do have a a girl..unique need to be blend in its camcel out and i am now ordinary...just plain ordinary invicible person who no one should have known my name..

new motto: my smiles are for all~

ps:need more clorox for the heart~

peace n out ^_^

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

peaceful and quiet days~


unlike usual i post new entry at night but now..around this between classes is the best nowadays...can come back to my handsome bed and sleep..haha..but back since 11 but havent do anything..gosh! i really need to off my pc..but need rihanna's gud girl gone bad..still havent recover...hardly say when will..huhu) last night was a good end and also a start...1st day open fast at masjid..suprised cos its full!! plus 2 subjects that i keen on having a look at..thanx Allah..they were there..^_^ but the real thing is during terawikh..2 things came in mind..1)i miss Him..long since i have felt touched..i've to say cried..just flood of tears..1st day..last year..just on the 11th and 21st..sad..hopefully this ramadhan will be much much better...less say is my ultimate gold this year...gotta stop those deeds of mine..not good..2)wonder how was he? did he go? ever? if not? how will? am i? can i? could i? should i? but the continuing topic was at home..with my housemates..surprise because they support me..and offers suggestions..which i found kinda not me..but deep down..i do like it..just not sure when...have some respond but not anymore..curiousity arising but at the look..maybe none will actually happened...well that's what real life is..

current things in mind..can i still catchup with studies..haish..keep on getting hard and harder but looking at their answers seems so easy..why havent i got that? well..should finish dan brown faster then i can give full attention on studies..haha..watta? ok..hope tonight will be as good as the last..intention is good..if again..maybe i should..but how? only Allah knows~

ok..enough for today...hmm...notice or writings its getting darker day by day isnt it? dan brown's way ;p love it!! ^_^

Monday, August 24, 2009

still in dat mode~


relaxing after class..reading angels n demons(still on pg 49 started reading on friday mind me..haha) waiting for break fast time...still bout 3 hours to go..hmm..nothing good happened today..didnt see 'AKyP'.. got emd's result..not good but i'm grateful i got that..better than 0(huhu) numec's coming next week...msian studies test postpone again to islamic test on my jiwa kacau which i hardly try to ignore each time it come crossing my focus mind..sebok je..watever la..its ur choice..cut!

i'm well prepared for this week anything bad or worse than today's is not a problem to me..hopefully..just wanted to keep my sanity and positiveness..*yosh!!*

oh something from the mails i got today..

Remember back in grade school how the only acceptable way to get someone to notice you was to aggravate them? Pretend you're back there, and someone's recent behavior will finally make sense.

really? never experience one tho..recent? none that i can think of that do it if he cares..well..for me? hmm..i hardly see one so how can i aggravate them? haish~

just praying to Allah to strenghten my heart till this end..surrounded by happy people somehow make me have this split emotions..happy for them but at the same time i was kinda hate it..but sorry...i know i shouldnt..listening to theirs was lessons for me..i listen and learn..eventho my time would never come..pasrah is the word now..disconnecting~

ok2..back to being positive..sorry readers..this is the purpose of this place to pour it all that i can stand living again on the next day...

gosh i need a laugh!! please Allah..send someone that can make me laugh..i've been faking it for quite some time here~

ok..enough deep thoughts..enough emotions...

anyway...happy fasting everyone!!! 3days down 27 more to go!! chaiyok2! ^_^

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I'm a freaky pimp with a sexy smile who needed my crush because I'm good in bed.. lol~

was tagged by black..haha..bru prasan setelah sekian lama..bkn nk gtau tag aku..haha..

First, add "I'm a/an" on your title, then add the rest of the answers on as you do the questions.

Tag 10 people.

What color/kind of socks are you wearing?
[ ] Red = loud
[ ] Green = stupid
[x] None = freaky
[ ] Fuzzy = gorgeous
[ ] Yellow = innocent
[ ] Purple = a little too happy
[ ] Black = emo
[ ] Stripes = funny
[ ] Gray = skanky
[ ] Pink = preppy
[ ] Light blue = sweaty
[ ] Other = hot
[ ] White = sexy

What kind of pants are you wearing?
[ ] Shorts = cutie
[ ]Skirt/skort = skank
[ ]Corduroy = faggot homosexual
[ ]Tight jeans = scene kid
[ ]Ripped jeans = emo
[ ]Cammo = cage fighter
[ ]Jeans = prep
[x]Pajamas = pimp
[ ]Cargo = clown
[ ]Sweats = athlete
[ ]Boxers = brat
[ ]Booty shorts = female
[ ]Capris = Gangster
[ ]Nothing = hoe
[ ]Dickies = weirdo
[ ]Bikini bottoms = tiki girl
[ ]Other = sex addict

What is your natural hair color?
[ ]Auburn = that every one wants to make out with
[ ]Blonde = with a broken heart
[x]Black = with a sexy smile
[ ]Dark brown = with a hot boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]Red = that likes to have fun
[ ]Brown = who loves to be different
[ ]Dirty blonde= with a nice ass
[ ]Bald = with herpes

Pick the month you were born on:
[ ]1 = who ate
[x]2 = who needed
[ ]3 = who killed
[ ]4 = who shot
[ ]5 = who killed
[X]6 = who banged
[ ]7 = who smoked with
[ ]8 = who ran shirtless with
[ ]9 = who got stabbed horribly by
[ ]10 = who cuddled with
[ ]11 = who slept with
[ ]12 = who ran naked with

Pick the day you were born on:
[ ]01 = the kool-aid man
[ ]02 = a dog
[ ]03 = a shoe
[ ]04 = a toothbrush
[ ]05 = Santa Claus
[ ]06 = my ex-es
[ ]07 = a prostitute
[ ]08 = The Trojan man
[ ]09 = a porn star
[ ]10 = a bag of weed
[ ]11 = my lover
[ ]12 = a glass of milk
[ ]13 = a horse
[ ]14 = a lesbian
[ ]15 = a stripper
[ ]16 = a pickle
[ ]17 = a jew
[ ]18 = a homo
[ ]19 = an orange
[ ]20 = my mom
[ ]21 = a homeless guy
[ ]22 = a whore
[ x]23 = my crush this one ^_^
[ ]24 = an easter egg
[ ]25 = a jar of honey
[ ]26 = a condom
[ ]27 = a bowl of cereal
[ ]28 = a french fry
[ ]29 = your dealer
[ ]30 = Paris Hilton
[ ]31 = your grandma

Pick the color of the shirt you are wearing
[ ]White = because I love marijuana
[ ]Black = because I'm sexy as hell
[ ]Pink = Because the lil people told me to
[ x]Blue = because I have AMAZING boobs
[ ]Red = because I'm a pimp and your jealous
[ ]Polka Dots = because I hate my life
[ ]Purple = because I'm gay
[ ]Gray = because I got dared
[ ]Other = because that's how I roll
[x]Green = because I'm good in bed
[ ]Orange = because I smoke crack
[ ]Turquoise = because I have a noodle in my nose
[ ]Brown = because I had to
[X]Shirtless = because I've got abs

haha..funny..pimp? lg funny..haha..ok..xnk tag sesape..feel free to do this if u want..i love being tagged but tagging others is so noot kdg2 tag gak (haha..gile~)

ok..wat la kalo nk wat..sile cik idalia, cik shera n cik diza..hoho~(tag scara xsengaja *wink2*)

another sunday~


bored..i dislike sunday because it's the day before monday..that mean i need to setle everything before midnight today in order to have a perfect week ahead..huhu..

hm: emf assignment(which tokbak personnaly told me to take the paper in front of his office when crossing the bn-bm road..road ke?pape la..haha) 1malaysia(lucky no more politic~) hoho..thats all..or mayb some studying..haha.msian studies n islamic koot! reading! haish...ok2..will start at 2pm..;p

done washing done cleaning(eda enslaved me!!!) done checking emails done quizzing on fb(ahaks ;p) done stalkering(erks~) done blogging here too..(almost)

felt like going to bali again..last night i wonders fb la..looking at frends pics..saw bak's and fahmy's bali trip..nice! but pity him he bought that bali shirt for 50 000Rp n i bought 1 just for 10000Rp..haha..funny2..true they say..'segan bertanya sesat jalan segan menawar rugi di sukawati" haha..(sukawati is an art market which sells everything from paintings to keychains) and then i saw mcNi pics..gosh..another of my dear taiping's fren got married!! congrats to her!! me? seems like never kot~ *sigh*

ok2..positive2!! i did lose my positivness in life recently...but now i regain my consciousness and positive is again my whatever u what..i'm doing things my way now.. ^_^

thats all for know..seems to spill it all here but being the silence azyy is much better for now~

peace out! ^_^

Saturday, August 22, 2009

cant believe it~


just came back from mid with my syg@ ita..haha..well she call me 'kasih' tho..all because ustaz said in last lecture..we need to 'berkasih sayang' with our friends..haha..nice rite? so nothing much happen today..just watching 2 movies and that alone took 4hours..we watched i love u beth cooper 1st then gi review? those movies..especially beth..because i did cried because realizing my life sort of meaningless rite now..nothing to ask..just dissapointment...and unsureness..huhu..when oh when...i wonder..sorry if i bother u..sorry if i was a burden..sorry for everything..just being a typical girls..with normal thoughts and jealousy..wonder why one never ask back..weird..arr..loose that for now..dont spoil the mood..i'm trying hard not to change does make my heart feel lighter..haha..besides some headache for the money..haha..lucky its fasting time..can save for next shopping trip..hoho..GI joe was a the action..i even forgot that i went there with ita..felt like grapping the guy next to me..see told u i having the'jiwa kacau' time..haish..sorry ita,..hehe..luckily i did aware of ita presence..haha..funny movie..just influenced by hasbro..i lost interest..felt like watching action movie for kids(its pg13 kooot~) plus the poor cgi..haish..sad..dissappointed again there..well..rewinding the beth movie..reflecting to my life..huhu..wish someone would do that to me realize that girls do love that kind of things..and her says bout the sun..i agree too ^_^'s story..went out at 10am and back at 10pm..haha..cant believe myself..and we went by taxi and train mind us..haha...tiredness is not a question here..well i did pity ita for wearing her wedges..i know how it must have mission accomplished(spelling!) bought bag for class, a it.imagine when am i ever going to wear it..haha..even for the lost of ka-ching..still deep down i felt like going to sogo tomorrow..maybe because my heartache havent relief..still there..not sure when it can heal..huhu..ok..tired strike! suddenly i felt like sleeping..okies for now..adios! ^_^

Friday, August 21, 2009


salam! at last uniten allow blogspot inside uniten..haha..what a relief..but still hink my pc is the prob..need to send him away for some cleaning..huhu..asked k nisa already..she said i can give acap to her on monday..yey! hopefully he will better..thinking of upgrading the RAM too...they said vista will be much much better with 4gb..mine now is 2.5gb..still running slow..well not up to my was thinking of subscribing for celcom broadband..but if it was my lappie even broadband wont need to wait for the lappie cleaning first..huhu..

ok..this weekend i will be all alone...everyone going home except for me..huhu....reason is..not sure i'm going to fast tmorow..haha..gosh..but the % is high for me to fast...hehe..whatever happen my date with it is still going on..hopefully..even planned to go out at 9am..haha..because then we can take a slow walk so that no so tired til the end of the day..haha..kinda doubt that..haha..crazy..first day of fasting n i'm going for shopping...haha..

hmm..still wondering wheather he read this or not..cos i did read his..n it hurts~

Thursday, August 13, 2009

back with pics~ ;p


i'm back..arrived safely at home around 4am today..after having late dinner@sahur..decided to fast because then we can sleep without having to care bout here some pics from bali..not much cos internet or maybe my lappie kinda slow...hish...

this is the hotel we stayed for 5 days and 4 nights...luvly the pools..(they have

luv the beach!! cant believe my eyes..the
waves there really pusing2..haha..amazed2!! i could have learned how to surf for just 150000Rp but since it was the last day..huhu..sadly have to say no.

this is taken at Tanah Lot Pura (pura is tample in their language) love this the cool everything bout Bali!! hehe..gosh..i really fell in love with Bali! :D

mama n abah with our suzuki karimun...wit this babe we traveled almost to each sides of bali...cute car but up and down the montains did make her sick..haha..scary..but we did enjoy the journey...hmm..still wondering why we dont have karimun over here..weird~

ok..summary bout Bali..such a nice place to be for honeymoon..haha..think i should have mine there too...hehe...the people are nice..the smell was nice..smeel of flowers everywhere..not sure where it came the sound of gamelan..even at the airport they play peaceful..crime was not an issue..i was scared at first because last time i went to indonesia..witness a demo..and everyone acted like it was nothing...scary! but Bali was so much different..eventhough majorities are Hindu but even their youngsters are nice..always wear a smile..the salespersons always nice and unlike some in malaysia who get mad when we didnt buy their things..hish..u can do whatever u want there..i saw few couples kissing on the streets..haha..lucky abah n mama didnt...erk~ lol..

on the last day..we went for some spa..but considering time we only did pedicure n toes are beauties it~

well all..with air asia bali returns tickets just around rm300...lets go there again!! :D

peace n out~

Friday, August 7, 2009

will be away~


seems quite long since i last wrote..what to do..uniten blocked blogspot..kinda making me wannna swear..but still having my sanity to swear just because of internet..haha..k na bought celcom broadband..interesting...hmm..might need 1 later..if i have 1 now..the possiblilities of never shutting down my lappie is high up up and away..haha..

just read black's blog..think their relationship sounded so sweet..having plan for their daughter's name..orked..sound cool to me..haha..orked binti ahmad zainul ariffin..haha..nice2..way to go my fren! well..i'm still in the stage where i'm still hoping for that kind of happiness and secure..its not that i havent believe..but it seems that his side havent quite what can i do? just wait perhaps? being me.. always playing the part of accepting and understanding..its ok..thats why its me who be me..not any other person..still i'm always here when u need doubt there ^_^

ok..i'll be away again for bout 5days..will be back on 12..bali2..hehe..i wanted to bring lappie there but mama said..might be a problem later think lappie better stays here..huhu..

ok..another not-so- big story but kinda big..haha..gilos..uniten was closed yesterday after 2pm because there are 3 h1n1 positive..bit curious bout who there are...hope none of my close friends or anyone i know..whoever they are..hope all goes fine and do get well soon..

read those from him too..shocking to know that he did have other girl when i thought we were already together...but 1 phrase there give me the relief..thanx dear~

haish...i am easily influenced..haish~

okies...wait for bali pics!! ^_^

really do miss pouring thoughts over here xoxoxo~