Thursday, August 26, 2010

Love in marriage is indeed a ‘decision’… Not just a feeling


i read this article in alia's blog (thanks dear!! ^_^) and i find it a very good way to look at love and favorite part..hehe~

‘God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.

You guys just hafta read this.

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here…
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship …
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, ‘How do I know if I married the right person?’ 
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, ‘It depends. Is that your husband?’
In all seriousness, she answered ‘How do you know?’

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.
Here’s the answer. 
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to 
DO anything. That’s why it’s called ‘falling’ in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, ‘I was swept off my feet.’ Think about the imagery of that __expression. 
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s 
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will 
notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, ‘Did I marry the right person?’ And as you and your spouse reflect on the 
euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, 
a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. 
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVERjust happen to you. You can’t ‘find’ LASTING love. You have to ‘make’ it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression ‘the labor of love.’ 
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. 
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship
WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can ‘make’

Love in marriage is indeed a ‘decision’… Not just a feeling. 
Remember always this:

‘God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.


note for today: dsp test at 8am! omg..need to be at uniten before that's why i need to siap2 now..or else i'll be very cuak later..huhu..pray for me ok! yosh schuzyy yosh!!

oh..heart-ache come again..kecik i said in fb..yes to fault eh..yela..kecik ati kecik ati~

ok..trying not to be affected by this so much..ok2 schuzyy..test at 8am..class till 11am..and i'm thinking of coming back home at 11am..and rest till 3pm because then i got to attend this talk maybe till 7pm..gosh! u must be kidding till 7pm? huhu~

ok2..positive schuzyy positive!! yosh!


You Are Banana Pudding

You are playful and optimistic. You have a childlike innocence that you've worked hard to cultivate.*ahaa..very much true eh..hehe~
You are unpretentious and real. You don't put on airs... you're happy with who you are!* true~

You are a natural caretaker and a loyal friend. When you don't know what to do, you know you can at least be there for people.* they say i i always say...i love my friends..even if they dont~
It's likely that you still love the place you grew up in. Home and roots are very important to you.

Your Brain is Logical

You are a very facts and figures oriented person. You don't get clouded by emotion.*yea rite~
You like to understand how things work, and you're always collecting data of some sort.*agree!

You are a critical thinker. You are look at all the facts before you make a decision.*true!
You aren't likely to change your mind once it's made up, but new facts could sway you - emotional appeals could not.*hahahhahahaha~

peace n out ^_^

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