new year new me?

salam~

finished 1 test! yey..its hard..but i think i manages to put everything in place..so just wait for the result..nothing else can be done rite? tawakal je la ;p

its the other new year..not to celebrate it cos we shouldn't..it not ours..but Hijrah also just entered a new one..so if i were to celebrate both that means its double new year for me ^_^ and something might happened next year..no one knows..so just go with the flow..thats what i've been doing all this while..^_^

today i learn something: even i was bit angry just now..but after reflecting..i think i am way better than that..i shouldnt be mad just because of that...i know that person is purposely trying to make me mad..and she got me..but just for few sec..i am way better darling...alhamdullilah..anger is still under control..yey! ^_^

okies..tonight will go back home..yey! see mama n abah..will be back here on monday morning..luckily my class starts at 10am..so insyaallah still can make it. ;p

i dont know why..but there's something inside that make me feel more alive today than yesterday..was it because test was done? hehe..but still think it was because of that ^_^

thats all for today..cant wait for next year! welcome 2010! goodbye 2009..u teach me so much bout life..bout friendship..and also bout myself...2302 and i'll be a year more mature..so i hope everything will be as it should be..Allah has plan for each of us..but still..it's up to us to make it happen or not..continue praying and work hard on it..insyallah..we'll have it all in our hand

peace n out ^_^

test microP

salam~

got microP test tomorrow and my head is aching the while day..even skip power E again..huhu..sorry ma'am..huhu..i know my body will be there but the brain wont.too much to digest..haish..what is happening? need to catch up fast!! okies..please pray for me..miza said the test was super hard! so if its hard for her than it is not impossible to be super duper hard for me..haish...no no..i attended the career unit talk just now..and today's was about social networking..and what i learn tonight is always be confident! insyallah..i can do the test well~ berusahaaa! ^_^

there's someone on my mind..and evertime i think of something and anything..that someone is there..being apart of my every plan..but..should i really accept it this time? i want to..but there's is some things still havent meet my requirements..so how?

okies..still praying for my best..hope u can help by praying for me too ^_^ thanx in advance!

peace n out ^_^

saket~

salam~

today's post wont be long..cos it still hurt..my whole body hurt..haish..but still not regretting la..cos we had so much fun! :D so today..for the first time..i skip 2 classes..but since today there'sonly 3 classes..so it can be said that i skip today's classes..cos microP was cancelled..mr fairuz wasn't there..its test this Thursday and he cancelled class..haish..

so my official test dates will be as stated below:

31/12/09: microP
5/1/10: lab emd
11/1/10: power sys
15/1/10: powerE

thanx Allah next week only lab test..insyaallah2..if there's more..then i'll die cos this weekend i'll be going home..yipee! celebrating new year on the bus~

okies..hope tomorrow saket2 will be gone..and i can start(really start!) studying..and..after today's discussion..i think i do still need to focus on study..cos it's still going to be long before i can hope for something else..*sigh~

peace n out ^_^

thanx so much ball!!

salam~

such a tiring yet wonderful outing! thanx so much to ball..gosh..last we met was in 2005 way before i entered uniten..visiting nurul at uniten without knowing i would end up here..hahaha..funny~

not much different ball..still fair n comel..hehe..out date begin with her mother n herself come n pick me up..the we went to her cousin's wedding...such a glorious wedding..can be called wedding of the year kot.and meeting her family..so nice..so happening! and plus..i got to met riz af parents..haha..ball is related to riz af! really!! not joking!! haha..i wish some other friend of mine would be relative of nubhan maybe..haha..not sure whether i like him still or not..hoho.. it was so great we didnt mind staying there for bout 3 hours..haha..imagine atending weddin for 3 hours..without even knowing the brides..haha..well..it was my first time really! hehe..and then..after the wedding we stop at a private hospital to solat n change..hehe..funny how we tricked the guard..then we headed to sunway pyramid..both of us dont know the exact way but with eda guidance..we made it there! alhamdullillah..arrived at 5pm..then..we attacked tgv..and the only movie available for us..and interest us the most was princess and frog! haha...being kid again! so wonderful..movie at 9pm..so we got few hours to jalan2...and then..and decided to try skating! haha..it was our first time ever too! so its so childish and funny..laughing all the way..felling and goleng2 and then laughing again..there's a boy who find us funny too maybe..maybe he though we were younger..haha..kakak kot..then he offered us his help..we..thanks to him i fell like cempedak! and its hurts so much in the butt and hand..maybe the landing was bad..and it was a speedy fell my u..huhu..hurting still..and got a bruise on my palm..i landed on the butt and palm to protect my head of cos!..huhu..this would make me scared of the rink for a while i think..huhu..then..during the movie..ball's mom called..and asked to not to come too late..but the movie finished at 11pm so her house at rawang..so we stayed at her aunty's house at putrajaya..such a wonderdul aunt she has! so beautiful! seriously! then round 12pm the next day we continue our journey to alamanda and went back at 5pm..thanx so much ball for the days! lov u darling! and gonna miss u!! xoxox

oh2..how can i forgot! on thusday! kakak belanja me prosperity!! thanx so much kakak! she knew this month's budget is super tight! hahaha..and thanks to her my prosperity consumption for this year is completed!! so thats it for me..i accomplish the target of having fast food this year! and no more next year..insyallah..as long as my target weight still far away like today..haish..chaiyok azy chaiyok!

ok..its almost there..my biggest fear is approaching! and i really dont know what to expect! and i hope..the future is better and brighter for us all..insyallah~

oh..today is asyura day..i hope u also fast today..mama said..the pahala is the same as 1000 umrah..insyallah..only Allah know what i get today..hope HE accept my doings today..ameen~

last week..i did so much bad things..bad deeds that i cant let them off my mind..i wanted to apologize..but seems there's no point..my prays are just for them to be happy and have a wonderful life without me around..another thing..after the fall and those accident with the sani bus..i really felt that death is near for any of us..just that we dont really know the date..people say..those who go before us means that Allah love them best..thats why He took them to be near to him..does that mean Allah didnt love us? does that mean i am a bad girl that's why He didnt take me yet? please Allah..my humble selfish doa is for me to die before my love ones..i cant bear another lost..please Allah please..but i know..i am still lack of pahala that would take me straight to heaven...but i would always try to improve on that..insyallah..please guide me to the right way ya Allah..please~

ok..LI is in stating on 5th April till 25th of June 2010 and i haven't get any placement..and it scare me! hope i get somewhere that i can learn things and earn so allowance ^_^

okies..thats all from me today...

peace n out ^_^

another weekend~

salam~

today holiday! yey! but not at all i feel excited..why oh why..plan to go back and take printer and filter here..but so lazy wanna call fendi..haish..

oh..notice the counter? haha..i'm the 100th

haha..oh..yea..love the green? its my current fav colour i think..cos..my pc table is this green..and also my bed sheet and comforter..hoho..green is good~

ok..what do i want to do this weekend? since next week got microp test..so..seem it will be microp week..and tomorow dating with ball..then sunday maybe with k long..huhu..i want to go out but money and time seems to be jealous of me..huhu so how? still today i woke aup late and tll now i'm still on the bed blogging..uploading pictures from the zoo trip and checking mails..and still no placement for LI..haish~

huhu..waiting for eda to come out of the toilet..then mandi then eat then start la..printer xpe la..skali skala kayakan iranye bisnes..filter..sorry alya..after mid term break la plak..

january is coming..and i'm kinda scared~

peace n out ^_^

still serabut~

salam~

okies..my morning today didnt start well..got 1st rejection email from a company i applied for practical..should i mind much bout it? yes! cos if even not so big company didnt have anymore placing so it is not impossible for the rest of the bigger one..gosh! gotta act faster!! got lab tonight till 10pm so later after that gotta come back and settle the address and everything..then i need to look at microP..tomorow got quiz and today's lab really made my stomach flipped..i only managed to understand just before class finished..gosh! this is not good! this weekend need to do an all out session! must!! no excuses!! stop 'bangau'ing!!! yes2!! i can really live without her now!! i totally not affected by her action anymore!! and i love this new me! :D being a bit evil but i think..everyone is started to struggle..it is third year..this is how its supposed to be..so just be ready azy! next week got 2 test! microp and power sys..microp quiz tomorow..hope i can do well..i think i get it..but somehow somewhere i just kinda lost..need moment to digest things..well..guess i need to spend less time in front of the pc this week..i will definitely go online in the morning to check emails (anymore rejection?) and harvesting..hehe..so after this..hopefully i can be very strict with my schedule! follow it!! dont just spend time in front here..haish...

okies..tonight's lab is for power E..and to my surprise there's only one girl! and its me..huhu..so this sem..there's lot of changes in me..alone in class..making new friends..having new class partners (can i call them that? hehe) thanx for having me! luv u! (still dont get it when some cant take it when i'm not with certain group of friends and keep on changing group of friends..that's what i think good for all..so let me be ME..please..and thank you ^_^)

for now..i enjoy all class..except when its quiz's day or approaching one..then my head will get serabut..need to workout the plan fast! oh ok..need to plan for u-robik next week..me as the head of sport and recreational bureau, is organizing weekly aerobic activity every tuesday evening at 6 to 7 pm..so if anyone from Ilmu reading this..please join us..we will do the Jillian Michaels workout..(shida jgn jeles ye..^_^) there's will be merits given.

so that's all for today~

peace n out ^_^

serabuted head~

salam~

my head is so crammed! hav 2 test next week..power sys and micro p..then lab test on the next..gosh..microp is still manageable..power sys? omg! got quiz 1 just now..and it was hard!! it was an open book..and still we were struggling to get it done..and to top the frustation..my answer dont matched the answer at the back..oh2..so stressful! and its all my fault! i was playful whole month and suddenly test are coming too so damn fast! ok..thats the word..huhu..i am so anxious now..now resting for a bit so that i can push it all out tonight..think i should skip the meeting tonight..felt so unstable rite now..need time~

notice my sentence are worst than ever? good..then that means i need to stop n have a rest..huhu..my head~

peace n out T_T

emotionally stable~

salam~

okies..it's a bit early to post new entry cos usually i post as summary for the whole day activities..hehe..

so 0900 today yana and i went to zira's house..i promise myself not to shed any tears..cos is none of of should..i know i need to be happy so that i wont make ibu ayah imah n nani get any sadder..alhamdullillah i managed nicely..i'm proud of imah and nani..they manage just a well..i know its hard for them too..but looking at ibu's face..i know..they know..they need to be happy t make ibu happy..good job girls! so sorry cos we arrived a bit late..hehe..just in time to amin the doa..so we went there for eating.hehe..and tapau balik some bihun and the sambal and 4 slices of cheese cake..gosh! there goes my diet again..hehe..then..the challenge..looking at their family pic..and zira staring back at me..gosh..sebak2..but trying hard to be strong..then makan2..gosh the nasi lemak's sambal was great!! then as usual..i asked nani to see zira's room..gosh..at the moment i saw her bantal busyuk..it all came back to me again..she always hold that bantal back then..be it during study or when we share the bed for some stories..some sesi hati ke hati.. and to my surprise..we like dkny! i never knew she wore dkny perfume..oh zira..i miss u~

::al-fatihah for her ::

back at my room..the flashing back continues..but..not tell here..more time needed..plus..i'm in alya's room..haha..shy2 la ^_^

okies..felt like sleeping all day..due to yesterday's work kot..(haha..watpe je la smlm?) but tomorow got microP quiz..huhu..plus another one on tuesday powersys..and i havent study a bit!! haish! there goes another 3-days weekend..huhu..missed 2 of 5 of 3-days-weekend..and i havent go back to loqstaq..haish~

he said he's coming back in January..should i wait? cos i thought of going back the first week..huhu..how oh how? tmorow maybe will go to kajang to look for ticket..so hope there's still cheap one..ameen! ^_^

okies..thats all for now..salam~

peace n out ^_^

volunteer is good for the soul ^_^

salam~

just came back from zoo negara! omg..this is my first time doing charity work..and it was so much fun!! i can believe it! i thought it would be so tiring and boring and the workers would simple ask us to do this and that..but they were just wonderful!! ok2..here's the detail ^_^

0730: kakak fetched me from ilmu and we heading to atm for the ride to the zoo

0900: arrived at Zoo Negara and we was late..and only 29 reported and it was kinda short cos supposed there are 40 of us..well..its a 3-days-weekend..so what to do..then we were divided into 5 per group..but then due to our number..then my group was just 4..me,kakak,sugana and komala..then another 2 boys joined us cos their house didnt need volunteers..so we 6 work at the bird house..

then i lost track of time ^_^

our first job was to sweep leaves and clear the flamingo area..gosh..experiencing the animal from inside the cage was so much different..so near to earth..love the feeling..then after the break at 10am..we headed back to the house and kakak and i got separated...she with the other 4 went to the flamingo area again..and i was assigned with encik kecik at the kitchen..haha..such a cute kid..he's 19..so i am comfortable enough as i cant have any feeling..hahaha.gatal me..but he is suc a nice kid..oh..need to mention he smoke..haish..ok..the job..first i help cut meat into cubes for the owl..wow! then prepare the banana n papayas for the birds..just arrange them so that the chef can deal with them later..in between that..another bird man came..to check on us maybe..haha..ya la..there's only 2 of us inside the kitchen..haha..as if i wanted to do anything la kan..funny..then he offered me muffins he baked..haha..it was wonderful..but i forgot to take pic of the muffin..its was even topped with choc..cant believe it was baked by him..haha..and there's also kek lapis sarawak..baked by kecik..gosh! it was so good i hardly can believe kecik did it..its so perfect! just like those we got form sarawak..really admire them for that..guy that baked! and love animals! gosh! i wish they were older..hehe..then we joined the others..just for a while..help bring all the pencakar and cangkul back to the bird house..then it was 12pm when they told us we can go for a walk and lunch..haha..our break supposed to be just 1 hour but it was 2 hours for us..so lucky! alhamdullilah..it was not so tiring for cos i work in the air-cond kitchen..hehe...then lunch time..the SIR provide us with nasi briani..its was good..really!

1400: work continue..my job continued with kecik again..haha..he like me maybe..but i think they thought i am too lembik for the cleaning work..haha..yea rite..try me! lazy maybe lembik no-no! haha..then kecik asked me to collect the feeding dishes from the kandang burung..then wash them all..gosh..its many!! haha..lucky i love playing with water..so its not so troublesome for me ;p then..the other guy i think his name's azam..he called me to help prepare the food..now i know..each day..they need to deal with 200kg of fishes and hundreds more of bananas papayas, grains, corn, raisin, kuaci, and also calcium...mixed them all..its different portion for different types of birds..then after that..the others came back..and they said the were going to the feeding area..wahaa..this is what other non-volunteers can't do..haha..love this..we got to feed stork with fishes at the lake, the imu(i think that the name..) with kangkung, the owl with meat and the small kangaroos..then to top all of those..around 4pm..they asked us whether we want to take pic with the parrots! of cos we want!! others need to pay for it but we got it for free!! yipee! love it!! oh..they have around 30 parrots and few peacocks in the cage for close look maybe..so we got the chance to see 2 of the parrots up-close..its kasim and comel..kasim can say helo, apa khabar and cough like a person..haha..so funny..and so cute! kasim is white..and comel is blue..i'll upload the pic later ok (left the kabel with fendi..huhu) then after the pic session..we try our luck..asking for the feathers to take home as souvenir..at first we thought they wont give..then with my cute pathetic face..haha..they gave us!! yey! but they told us not to show them around inside the zoo cos fear the others want it too..i got 3 of them..kakak got 5 i think..the others got few each too..haha..lucky us! we would be grateful enough if they just give is 1 each..3? haha..love them so much!! then at 4.30pm..priya the sir commitee called us to go to the cafe cos its time to go back..huhu..kecik told me to come again personally..insyaAllah i will! they we all so nice! then at 1700 we headed back to uniten..and the bus ride was so fast cos we had fun having games wise jokes..hehe..so much fun!! love it! so after this i certainly will join any activities organize by anyone even its just volunteering..as long as it has certificate ^_^

so..thats all about today..anyone want to do any volunteering at zoo negara please tell me..cos i want to go again!! :D

peace n out ^_^

it's another 3-day-weekend

salam~

yey! its weekend again! love weekend..because it's the time i could rest rest rest n rest..haha..as if i wasnt resting at all during the weekdays..hehe..well..at least on weekends i wont feel guilty sleeping all day cause it is weekend rite..hehe..

today: wont do much..thought of going to zira's house but ibu said they'r going to kubur and got people coming so maybe sunday..so today..i will surf all those things i wanted to google on..i been writing everything that come across my mind that i need to google on..so..this is the time..hehe..what are they? just basically songs with lyrics so that i can karok..haha..and few names n lecture that i hear my lecturers saying they names in class..mostly from techcom class cosby and prosh..better check again..oh and that brown guy with nlp..that one i got form 3p workshop last 2 weekend..oh2..i love weekend!

tmorrow: around 7am...i will going to zoo negara! yey! doing some volunteering chores...my first time..so it better if i expect the worst first rite..so it will be from 7.30am to 4.30pm..yey..at least my saturday is going to be filled with something good and hearty..hehe..

sunday: ibu asked us to go around 8.30am or later..they are doing some kenduri..insyallah i will go with the rest

hmm..thoughts? well been doing much lately...last night listening to k onny and alya..it make me rethink of the uncertain..is it true? gosh...what if it is..what would happen next? gosh gosh and gosh..

ok..lets brief on what i did last night cos its kinda crazy not to mention it here..haha...yesterday wast the last day oh tahun hijrah 1430 so k onny came to have doa akhir tahun and doa awal tahun together..oh..happy new year everyone! :D then we went to upten for some refilling and gossiping ;p thats was the 1st part of the fun..hehe..then..after makan..i dont felt like going ho,e yet..so i persuaded k onny to bring me anywhere..hehe..nakal me..hehe..then we went to jj balakong..hehe..guess what we did there? hahaha..this is the funny part..k onny bought presents for her and her nephew..then haha..we went to the gsc front to watch trailers plus with popcorn! hahaha..got me? we sat on the bench in front of the counters with popcorn n cola then watched the screen there..watching trailers..hahaha..it was my 1st time..nice and what an experience! love it! should be doing it often! anyone wanna join? :D

remember big mac? akyp? ok..i'm over them all this semester..or maybe i thought i was..haha..akyp was gone forever due to his fb..gosh..avoiding2..big mac on the other hand..is somewhat giving response..hehe..not anything u think of..just mild response that i'm comfortable with..just some smiling along the way..and to my surprise i got to see him everyday..maybe his class mostly at bn too like me..hehe..so nice..felt better each time bumping into him :D but well..dont think it would do more..age problem..huhu...or does it really true when people say age doesnt matter much these days..i hope so..i hope he would think likewise..hahaa..berangan kau..ok..reality check! ;p

mission possible is still undergoing some tough situation ;p

okies..will post everything bout zoo negara again tomorow..tunggguuuuu~

(ade ke org baca nih? baget2..if u do..thanx a million! ^_^)

oh n enjoy this as i do such a cute vid!! :D

okies..peace n out ^_^

tuesday morning~

salam~

wasnt planned to get up early today..but something came up so..here i am..still in the blues mood..so many think inside my head..classes? still ok..power E..found few friends..husni n vivek are known..made friends with another 4 chinese..thanx guys! dont felt alone anymore..plus pn sabarina will call my name everyday...izayati!..haish..haha..xpe la cikgu..other subjects...still breathing ^_^

yesterday: haha..funny day..everything went well..top of those..really funny story..i went to wak's for mee grg mamak..then went i was waiting for my order..wak's wife sit next to our table..then she said..adik tu mcm nur kasih..all 4 of us turned to se who was she talking about..eh2..kamu la..haha..she was addressing me..haha..me nur kasih(nur amina) that the funniest thing but sweet that one ever said to me..nur amina is a character that too nice to be in reality..any girl should be like her..i admit i do want to like her..gorgeous and nice and clever and love for her man and Allah so great even when everyone was telling her to move on cos her husband was believed to be dead..she just keep on to her faith..believing that her husband will come back eventually...and he does in the end..well..that true love..even though her life wasnt as happy as she wanted in the early stage of her marriage but in the end her husband did turn good and love her..aaa...drama..will i ever have that great love?

this sem..what i think happened to me..after all those unfortunate events.. i look at other quite differently..i'm scared to be closed to anyone..i look at boys like there are all kids..(well should be cos my batch with my age all graduated already..haha) so here i am..living life as a Schuzyy..hoping everything goes well...what ever lies ahead..i will go thru as calm as i can..even if it's not like what i imagine...one thing i know for sure..there's no more hazirah abdul rahman to meet this coming august~ rest in peace zira al-fatihah~ insyallah aku g umah ko slalu..dulu zira slalu soh g umah dia g temankn ibu tp i refused cos she's not around, takot xtau nk cakap ape ngn ibu..but now...there's no more excuse..i will go to her..insyallah zira insyallah~

okies..b4 rain fall down..better stop..dont want any red eyes

peace n out ^_^

nur amina wannabe ;p

its all coming back~

salam~

i wanted to pour every memories i have with zira here..but..i just couldnt find the strength yet...each time i try..it started to rain..i know she never want anyone to be sad bcos of her..cause she never does..gosh..writting bout her in past tense is hard enough...i asked shida last night..is it ok if we didnt use arwah..cos it sound weird...i'm not really good in islamic..but i dont want her to sound like that cos she never dies in our head n hearts..i dont know why its hard for me to accept this..not that i cant accept the fate..its Allah's doings..her family accepts it..why can i? back then in gmi..when we just 12 gapp gilrs...we shared everything together..among all..zira was one of my bestest friend..she was my housmate..my room-mate..we shared lots of common things..we love F1..we love cars..we were drivers..last night when doing bit of prayers for her..i remember when she used to sit by my bed..i sleep early cos i always wake up when they all slept..she said..she wanted to sit there cos she can see me sleep..but then i end up cant sleep then we will borak till she's sleepy..such a good heart..there so much of memories..i cant even think of another one to starts with..she always be my bank when i'm too scared to tell mama i've overspend again..and she always lend me some..thank zira..it seem i cant ever return the favour..i am so sorry..reading her last writting on her blog..touched me..it was writen in november..bout a month ago..she said bout how grateful she was having Janna..i do envy janna..that's another superb friend i ever know...thanks janna for taking care of zira..i wish i was in your shoes..or maybe lending my hand to help both..so helpless when what u can do is just waiting for updates on the net..i wanted to text janna or call her.but i'm afraid i would just bother her..i wanted to call ibu when i knew zira was sick..but i'm too scared i dont know nicest word to console her heart..what i can do now is just crying..crying each time zira thoughts come acroos my mind..i wish i could have done something..when she came back b4 she starts her practical..she did came here..but i just got to see her for few hours..and there was acap too.so i didt really have the time with her..she gave me tje JLo perfume..at first i thought it didnt smell too good for me..but since she';s sick..i started to wear it..it make me think of her..now she's gone..i keep on staring at the bottle..wishing i could at least see her in my dreams..how pathetic i am rite? i am sorry...this is my first time loosing a friend..a friend that was close to my heart..and also to many..i didnt remember the last time i cried this hard..i am a crier..but this time..the hole i feel..is just too deep..i regret the time that i failed to pleased her..i regret the time when i had fights with her..alhamdullilah..all fight ended too well..well..that was zira..she never hold grudge..a good heart..will i ever be one? its true isnt it? Allah will take the good ones first..leaving the bad live just to see whether they would be good again..i was watching 2012 earlier..and i felt so relief zira dont have to feel those..us..we still dont know..i always pray..so that none of us would ever be there to see the world end..cos all knows it too ugly even to imagine..seeing that movie..really make me i rather die than live..but in the end they survived end of day..and the day started again..so it wasnt really end of days..

these stories..remind me of death..i always wanted it early..i always wanted it to be before my parents go..cos even when a fren died i'm like this..i cant imagine how its going to be when they'r gone..leaving me all by myself..without anyone else too look after me..i maybe look strong on the outside..i always play being strong when being with friends..its pathetic to look weak..it's an insult to womankind..thats why i hate when girls being girls..when the cant learn how to stand on their on feet..but i know..i am sometimes being fake..i do have my own soft spot..where i do need someone..someone that i dont really know who~

life is hard..life is challenging..life is scary..life is full of mysteries..life is good..life is bad..life is something that everyone wishes for it to be happily ever after..but how many really can achieve that happily ever after? has anyone ever has? questions..questions..questions...life is full of unanswered questions~

if u are reading this..thank YOU so much! i love u..i want to say now..bcause i'm afraid i wont have the chance to say it again..i am trully sorry for each n every sins and wrongs i ever do to YOU..i am just a human who is bound to do wrong things..and i do appreciate all friendship ties i ever have..even ones those i'm the one letting it loose..believe me..i am stupid to do those kind of things..but sometimes..it just for the greater good..forgive me~

its almost 3.30am now..think i better sleep now..plan to jog with alya later..

peace n out~

al-fatihah to hazirah~

a hole that nobody can ever fill~

salam~

nur hazirah abd rahman (04011986 - 09122009)

a superb friend..listener..hugger..laugher..most cheerful person on earth..ur spirit live with us forever..i'll definitely miss u always zira~

al-fatihah~

life as it is~

salam~

ok..lets leave the matters bout the title for later..

last weekend was a good and full of input..i attended bengkel 3p that was organized by uniten's phep..it was for leaders (cewah..) to learn how and what is it about to be a leader. so since i am ilmu sport bureau captain..haha..funny isnt it? but i am..so i attend the bengkel..at 1st i was quite uneasy since nobody i know that i heard of going..then when i was lepakking with kakak..then she said she was going too..hehe..to my relieve~ so it was ok after all...the activities was ok..we stayed at sri malaysia bagan lalang..it situated sumwhere near the beach but the whole 3 days there i didnt hear or see any laut..but luckily k azua came to fetch us then i got the chance to see the ocean again! thanx k azua!!! luv u!! ^_^ had some sotong bakar n sotong tepung..the sotong was big! 2 of them weighted half kg already..haha..so nice..but no really sedap..huhu..but its ok at least i got to see the ocean again..so positive2!

ok..at the 3p..we have a motivational talk by rizal..this wasnt my first time attending his talk..it was so good this time i sumhow remembers more than the last time..hehe..so now..i can see what a person is just by looking at the eyes..hoho..love it..ok..but what i learn with him was so much that i appreciate now..there is no failure it is just feedback. really true! even though i was not a 4 flat student but i am working hard on achieving it. so if i didnt get a 4 flat or even a dean list it just a a feedback of me making a bad and wrong choice..thats all..so better thing of another choices and choose a better one..hehe...

and even when it come in the matter of heart.well..i do have a soft heart..and delicate mind..but things are continually made a bad impacts to me..and so much that i care..now i choose to dont care anymore..i rether choose to ignore it..even it is sumting close to me..i know it is sumhow bad for the future and my own life...but rather than giving my heart n mind a hard time better let them work on any other things...family is important...it should and will come first at any moment..so friends when they choose not to care bout my choice there..better let them be and keep away from them...i WAS a soft hearted person..but not..it is harden..life is difficult enough even without those problems...rizal said no trouble no fun..its true..but too much trouble just make no fun too...so i choose to keep out of trouble or ppl who are troublesome to me..haha..ok..last week trouble came by...then i refuse to open the door to them...but today..trouble came by again..but he used my neighbor..tell them to tell me he wanted to come..so neighbor had to come just to tell that trouble is troubling her now..just to get to me..but what i worried now is...wtf is trouble went troubling my neighbor for? its enought for him to trouble me alone..stop harassing others who known to my neighbor..haish...this is the life i really need to keep away from for ever! neighbor wanted me to confront her..i said why should i? so what if he want to choose to have a row with me...i dont give a d*** anymore...just the fact that i already have problems that i need to settle than having u troubling my head some more...hate it..so i think i made myself clear this time..i dont need u anymore trouble...not that i dumping u or anything..but just the fact that u are the one who are creating too much scene that not averyone wanted to..and obviously i am one of those who refuse ur company! so please..be informed! and leave my neighbor alone!!!

ok..stop swearing! azy..this is not u! come back to the real u!

peace n out ^_^