i have 2 identities?

salam~

let me tell u a secret about schuzyy..she thinks she has 2 identities~

1..is the lovely sweet girl most people see..the one who smiles a lot..who really patient when anything happens..one who really happy and optimistic..seeing everyday as a new day..meeting new faces is like a bless..being kind is her way of life..integrity is the word she hold for life~

the other identity is one who is rebellious..love to hate people..love to pretend that she is stronger than anyone..even guys..one who think she can do everything..one who can live by her own because nobody is perfect for her..one that think she is the best nobody can be better than her...one that can plan a murder in her mind when she reached her craziness..due to too much of CSI..huhu..

but deep inside..she know.. she can balance both identities..so that she can life her life better..creating a better life for her and her family..she know she is being bad by having those weird negative emotions..and she is learning to be good..to have pure heart..to love everyone..leaving the hate behind...forgive and forget..but is that rite? can that be ok in this cruel world? where everyone is planning their own evil plan for their own benefit..without thinking bout others? is that ok? i u remember an Indonesian drama..titled sekar..the story about a girl name sekar..schuzyy has thought of being like sekar..a soft hearted..forgive n forget kind of girl..but soon schuzyy realized..she was being that..well at least maybe few times..and she got fooled..and she got hurt repeatedly..and she realized..that what life is about..learning..learning about people..life..good and bad..now she thinks..she is being a better person..but the fact that she can manage to hate someone is somewhat beyond what she thought she could ever do..she is just praying..hoping that this bad attitude wont ruin her heart further..this bad influence need to go away fast.and she is praying for that hard..please Allah.. help her~

schuzyy is serabut~