raya ooh raya~

salam~

happy aidil adha too all muslims out there! hope u have a very happy raya! cos i am~ :D

yesterday: after subuh helped abah with bihun sup..yes no nasi this raya..its ok..we r on diet ;p then round 8am went for solat raya..and to my surprise i did listen to the whole khutbah (haha..i usually fell asleep rite after the solat..hehe..bad me ;p) and ot really touched my feelings..but i dont know why this year..raya seems so wonderful..tears and thoughts are daily..still not sure why..my heart felt softer now..but it's harden in other parts~

today: after subuh..me and abah went to g lengkuas..we r doing korban this year..and mama out my name..so i need to be there..and i watched the entire process! from pulling the cow out from the kandang to the agihan..the shocking part of cos the sembelih part..huhu..at that moment i thought i would never eat any living animals ever! but the time of agihan..i stated drooling..sging rebus cicah air asam..sup tulang..dging msk kicap..all come across my mind..erasing the bloody thoght i collected earlier..hehe..but just to make it go away..i said to myself..they were created to be our food..since Allah didnt forbid them..so its our duty to eat them so..hehehe..so..back at home..there goes gulai rebung, cicah2..dging kicap..and bbq..hehehe~ gosh i hopethey wont come after me in my dreams..erk~

::summary of this 3 weeks holidays::

i watched the finale of nur kasih..fyi..i wasnt a fan of that drama..well..too much drama..and its on friday..plus the fact of us not having tv at hostel..so better keep out..so..its holiday..and tv3 was repeatng the series..and i watched few episodes and..typical malays dramas..even if we missed the early episodes u stil can catch up even if u only watch the finale ;p so the same with nur kasih..no doubt the storyline is waaaay better than any other series (malay's) the massage is clear..love of Islam and love that exists in sake of Allah..(cinta yg berlandaskan Islam..sorry not sure how to put it in english properly T_T) i did cried after nur and adam met and when she brought adam back to his mother..and love the love of adam n aidil..and between nur and sarah..such lovely relationships that i wonder if i ever gonna experience such~

another tears was for hajj..it touches me each time they talk bout hajj..and for the first time..i really felt that i need to be there..i need to plan ahead..not just for my working life but also..my islamic journey..mama said..next time i'm back..we should go to tabung haji n register..so that in another 5 or 6 years time we will be able to go there..one of the reason..is the climbing high cost for hajj packages..at first we were planning on going somewhere bit futher this time..then..came umrah packages..and its soo expensive now..and mama said..with assari murni..its the best..but they dont offer much..so the i clicked on hajj packages..they offer a full package for rm25000..gosh!..that the price u pay for a comfy islamic journey nowadays..but mama say..it will worth every cents..so thats the turning point of me having this soft feeling..huhu..really felt small..watching those pilgrims at mekah n madinah..i wonder..if it is going to be the end of the world this coming 2012..so i would never going to make it there...T_T so i will now on..start being good..of better than who i was all this while..bit by bit is changing...i no longer hope for that one duniawi gold..but there's something greater than that behind all those things i wished for..its all just pleasures that can be obtained here on earth but we forgetting that we are not long here..there's some other place that we r going to live longer..in fact..for eternity..so 1600! i will have u in no time..insyaallah~

heart: its divided into 3 now..soft: medium : rock hard

soft: those teary event touches here..so..cant help to cry so much..well always like this since..forever kot ;p

medium: when i find it hard to argue..i just find my own way out by keeping the thoughts to myself..better say less than listening more ;p

hard: rebellious ones..ngengada ones..attention seeking ones..love me not ones..dont care bout me but urself onces..felt sooo perfect ones..well..u deserve this..dont feel weird when i turn this 3rd switch on..cos its ur own fault i did..

i am just a simple girls who sumtimes accidentally be bad of some reasons..maybe because i cant stand it anymore..have u ever think bout that? i always wanted to create a persona lile nur..its so lovely..but she too have her limit..so thats how real woman is..we do react to situations..accordingly~

another thing i learned this holiday..less caffeine makes our brain function clearer n calmer..and less annoying~

sorry if any heart scratched by this words of mine..its true and this is how i felt bout world today..we are away for Allah and islamic way of life..even the so called wiser in religion seems corrupted enough to have less respects from the commoners~

again..thousands apologizes..starting a new life this new sem..oh and have a brighter yet eventful semester ahead..hope less drama for me too ;p

peace n out ^_^

ps: i'll post my class timetable later..need to amend something first this Wednesday oh n mission is having super heavy unavoidable unfortunate obstacle..huhu~

day 11~

salam~

okies..nothing to mrepek so update for mission..hehe..still not much..haish..super lazy these days..hope laziness decrease when back at uniten..haha..well at least i walk to class ok ;p

so i had lunch: sup ayam, sayo n ikan steam with suku nasi..n fruits

dinner: mushroom soup n bread..

supper: my own baked cookie! 1 piece :D

n JM :D

did i marry the right person?

okies..this one i just copy paste from a blog given by shida..and i think it's sumwhat true..huhu..but..well..the truth is ugly isnt it?

http://adwina.blogspot.com/

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...

Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU .

Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown.People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love .

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

so..how laaaa..huhu~

sad but happy ^_^

salam~

not much(well i always say this isnt it? ;p) ok2..haha

result out today..wasnt dean list..but i am quite happy cos i thought i would flunk emf n emd..alhamdullilah i got b..well better that c rite..alhamdullilah too cos no c this time..n cgpa up 0.02..haish..well..better than going down rite? :D so i thank Allah for that..that was a miracle! :D

so diet still going on..yesterday i slept quite last so the morning i can hardly focus doing subuh..so i straight go for bed rite after subuh..huhu..so jdm5 is left forgottern..guess what..i was hungry the whole day! so it is true..the jus is making us not feeling hungry..so i promise myself not to skip 1 again..hmm..ha..plus those scolding i got from mama..haha..uish..pedas2 ;p

so last 2 days..got kenduri..so nasi for lunch..dah la sedap2..haish..godaan2..breakfast anlene lunch kenduri night omg..i had maggi..share half with mama..huhu..today..lunch nasi n ikan pindang..nyum2..n dinner pulut udang wa bg..n 1 piece cookies i baked! fresh from oven :D oh..and lots of water! :D

so i hope gud news for me tomorrow on the scale :D

oh..i read k einaz blog..she eat in 2 hours gap..hoho..i know bout that..but its hard to make it little..huhu..so how? and the workout gosh..my boday aching like hell..so i cuti last nite..tonite? em em..haha..not sure yet..eyes wide awake..mayb will do some..15min can a? hehe~

hmm..next sem..i will be taking 6 subject..huhu..hopefuly can cope..power syg, power e, micro p, techcom, lab emd and cr..quite scary to look at..but need to speed up..i dont think i can do 15 during final year..go go azy!! u can do it!! :D

okies..peace n out ^_^

fuh fuh fuh~

salam~

hehe..gud news! i got new hobby( really?) well..new activity to do now..bought workout dvd of Jillian Michaels from kak einaz..gosh..trying it out tonight..and it is exhausting!!! really! try the 1st level for 28 mins..then take a break iming with shida..then the internet went out and i spend the time watching the rest of the other levels..and the kickboxing caught my attention! really! no mat no dumbell no nothing..just plain you..so i try that one..and i only can do till the 11th min then i surrender..skip to the cooling down..gosh..28+11...39 min is too much..gosh...sweating like mad..but stated to feel something and i know its good! really..thanx so much kak einaz! so after chating with shida..i sumhow lost the shyness of the weight..haha..but not revealing it here..but the ticker i put on the left is sumhow what i am targeting..no much..i started on sunday (15112009) so after a week i lost 1.5 kg..well..not much..but at least i did lost a kilogram ok! proud of myself..lest eating for sure..i am having much faith this time..with some extra help of jdm5...hoho..and with shida being the rival..hoho..like it! so..here it goes! my new mission! so we are trying for our first target..(kite je yg tau shida..don worry! :D) so here it goes! good luck girl!! :D

ok..what i had today: nasi,2 squids, ikan bakar for brunch and char kewteaw for evening and 2 biscuit and tea for dinner..haha~

still disappointed about that nasi grg cina i ate last thursday..huhuhu~

ok..result might come out this monday...so praying hard..ameen!

bought a planner at popular for next year..so i hope next year will be much better that this year n previous..insyaallah~

that's all

peace n out ^_^

FRAGILE :this body contains heart:

salam~

as my friend said it on fb..today i'm going to be a bit jiwang or more like full of emotion..such a bad day for me..woke up early..and felt not so well..to much raining outside..cold and all..everything was so-so..then i read that paerticular 'thing' then it made me felt so down~ am i that worthless..who am i to u? what am i here for? i really dont understand guys..they can share things but when it come to problems..they just keep it to themself..just remember..eventhough females are masters of making thing worst but we are superb when it come to listening..we can adapt to emotion perfectly..thats why we are the mothers not the males..ok..the point is..please share ur problems..its hard enough to know and see u sad..we dont ask doesnt mean we dont want to know..keeping it to urself just making an impression of mighty ego in the head and u not loving and appreciating us females as a friend, buddy, girlfriend or even wive..its true u know..problems do get lighter even when u talk about it to sumone~

avoiding xplosion

peace n out ^_^

cuti cuti cuti~

salam~

its holiday again! yey! there so many things to do yet i havent start with anything..hehe~

so basically..my daily schedule is almost the same for entire 3 weeks i supposed..hoho..morning wake up..afternoon cook..evening either stay at home watching tv or out jln2 cari pasal..night..dinner and tv or out..after 12am its kebun time!! hooho~

there's so much in my head..but its all about that 1 thing.. mama asked bout it too..but i just refuse to say anything..read alya's blog..its the same thing..huhu..but lucky its still between me n mama..n i know..mama too think i dont seem to be ready for any of those..i'm still her baby girl..but what acha said in the paper today do make some sense..i do need what she say she needed all this while..what can i do..just wait till the time comes~

hmm..seems that my writting is getting less open..not sure why...i think i was being too open in here..omg! i hate this ym..a friend of mine got those virus that make her window open every now n then..i was waiting for that someone whom i know the name wont appear tonight..haish..why am i have this feeling..i hate this..i need him more when he need me less..thats just s****!! seems like i'm the one who doing the chase wright now..bad news..he dont even care~

oh..another bad news i heard recently was about zira..she was in german's hospital now for having infection..not sure what it called..but what for sure is that she was being put to sleep to let her body rest. and i think she was conscience now but she's still in icu..i wanted to call her mom but not sure what to say..not good at consoling n comforting..huhu..hope everything fine with her n her family..lets just pray for our dearest zira! get well soon girl! miss u so much!!

peace n out ^_^

beautiful morning~

salam~

such a beautiful morning! wokeup n bathed at 6.15am today...so fresh but this chillness is making me sleepy..go azy go!!

i love numec i love numec! but these 2 things keep on coming to my head..keep on shaking it away...haha..if eda would notice..i am shaking my head every now n then..haha..funny..but each time..my heart ache..haish...dont know what to do...i need them to beautify my life~

pray for my success n peacefulness please~

peace n out ^_^