Sunday, April 10, 2011



i know i'll be embarrassed and will laugh at myself when i came back to this next time..
today's topic is love..yes..the taboo topic..i am so lack of experience in this field..or maybe i am too scared to gain any more experience related...and after few months of emptyness..i found another candidate..yes i still consider him as a candidate..havent yet ready to commit..truth hurts..twice is enough for me..but age and time does change people..i admit i am trying to get to know this guy..but all i get is still the same as the previous i guess it was my mistake after i tolerate..again..ok..i'm not telling all the details what i do this time around..i kinda seek for some help..haha..well not anything serious..just someone on the internet..and about this problem i have..this is what i got as an my age is getting more and more each year..and i am trying to be more mature..i think i need to be ready for the fact that one day..anytime sooner..maybe rite after august (what??!) maybe my parents would ask THE i'm preparing..myself for the moment..and for the's what the advice say i should have said to the guy i'm with..and it does make sense..rite?

It would feel great to be with you. I feel awkward and excited even talking about this. And I don't want...a boyfriend or a live-in relationship at this point in my life. I'm looking to be married and be a mother. So, until you're sure you want marriage and fatherhood, it would feel better to just date and keep my options open.

words: well..this is where i'll start to feel thorn side of me say..yosh schuzyy!! you should open up and try to meet new guys.. and the other is no no..u should just wait..that is not how a muslimah should do..u are way too good to do that(sigh~) 

God..please help me some signs..talking about signs..usually when i started to lost the to say thingy with anyone..they would enter my dream..and usually when i woke up and remember it..i will end up feeling sad..i am a girl who someone easily..and i will like them for quite a while..only until..he did something that is not tolerable to my eyes and hearts..then i'll close the case..but among thise thousands crushes..only 3 made into the 'other' list..haha..yes..self-centered mode "on"   but like i all ended the same is all about the still need to go on~

ok..enough said..i'm locking this heart again..and only time can unlock it again..hope there's still hope for me..insyaallah~

peace n out ^_^

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