kagum~

salam~

what was i 'kagum' with? kids these days..aha..yea..i am accepting that i am no more in that category..i know i know. haha..but still i am keeping my young look..hehe..ok..kagum..i am amazed with how kids these days are acting..acting like adults..i am already an adult..ok..maybe official adult age is 21 so maybe those who are off 18 very keen on getting to the age of 21..but believe me dear..it is not that wonderful..haha..i was there few years back..yea i know i shouldnt be complaining or saying much about adulthood..but seeing you guys acting all grown-up make me kinda sick sometimes..how u dress how u act..how u speak with others..it is still a long way till u really understand what adult is all about..but right after leaving school..ur freedom kinda get to ur head..and it doesnt look good..ok..i maybe envy ur fashion sometimes..because i dont have the guts to dress as much..but please..behave..and show some respects to others ok. ok enough negativeness~

time waster..as always..haha~

You Are Patient

You tend to stick with relationships - through the good and the bad. You're stubborn that way. You are willing to wait for someone to come around. You give lots of second chances. You are a great listener and tend to give valuable advice. You know your friends well. You have a lot of inner strength, and you can dig deep when you need to. You are resilient.

You Are an Adventurous Traveler

You travel to expand your own mind and challenge your conceptions of the world. You think that each vacation should be a growth experience. You aren't content just to relax. You want to see the world, and you're willing to rough it a bit - if that what it takes. You are a thrill seeker, and you want to do it all. You're not content to just lie on the beach.

You Are Iced Coffee

You are witty, flirty, and fun. People love to be around you and your energy. You need change in order to feel alive. You are very dynamic and interesting. There's so much you want to try. There's so much you want to experience. You are always expanding your mind in some cool way. You are open to and curious about the world.

peace n out ^_^

cemas.debar.cuak

salam~

since evening i was feeling this..uneasy..usually my instinct works..but this time..i really not sure what is the cause. but i'm really am glad i'm with my parents now..so i have the chance to protect them. so who else would cause me this much of uneasiness? huhu..

eat pray love~

salam~

ok..another movie today..i've heard my friends talking about this movie and the book..i havent found the book  and i'm not sure i wanted to read it or not..the movie is inspiring..i love the eat and pray parts..because i too love to eat..pray? yes..but not meditation..i just need the sea breeze to make me relax and get the balance again..hehe..but the love part..guess the hero doesn't look nice on the eyes..sorry dude..u r so not my taste..haha..but BALI..that is one thing that i was soo excited about..i like the idea of the guy..living in Bali..a place that one can find peace and in his case..recover from his divorce. hmm..i would love to live there too..and i love their houses..not to mention the laut! OMG! i can still hear those sound..the waves..i love Bali..ok..back to the review..through the 3 parts..i can feel the first two..but the last one..i'm lost..i can't feel anything..at a moment i felt like..gosh..i am just like her..i'm just too afraid to love..afraid of trust..commitment..of being hurt by someone i love dearly...gah..life is beautiful..no one should spend any second worrying about how bad their life is..just live the moment like there are no tomorrows~

peace n out ^_^

love actually is all around~

salam~

ok..i know i am a bit out dated..this is a 2003 movie and i just saw tonight..wonder why i never heard of this movie before..haha..and it was actually a great movie..as always..it does make me cried few times..it was so lovely..and trust me..i am writing this and it all sound very English in my head..haha..blimey~

but with all the sweetness of this movie..and the tears..it all then came back to me.. my life..it is never a good idea to watch a romantic movie when u r sad because of love..because it will only make u even more sad..darn it~

i really want to pour it all out here..but it is too personal..and it will look stupid when i re-read this again..haha..aa..love..people say..love urself then u will get the love of ur life..pursue ur career first before u pursue ur love..and tonight..love is all around..it is always about love..it is not that i hate the idea of being in love..falling in love or such..i still do believe in love..just that..seeing is believing..and i need to see one to believe..ok..that's not right..i've seen too many..i need to experience one to believe it is actually true especially in this cruel cruel world~

peace n out ^_^

hahaha~

salam~

i know i'll be embarrassed and will laugh at myself when i came back to this next time..
today's topic is love..yes..the taboo topic..i am so lack of experience in this field..or maybe i am too scared to gain any more experience related...and after few months of emptyness..i found another candidate..yes i still consider him as a candidate..havent yet ready to commit..truth hurts..twice is enough for me..but age and time does change people..i admit that..so i am trying to get to know this guy..but all i get is still the same as the previous ones..so i guess it was my mistake after all..so i tolerate..again..ok..i'm not telling all the details here..ok..so what i do this time around..i kinda seek for some help..haha..well not anything serious..just someone on the internet..and about this problem i have..this is what i got as an advice..as my age is getting more and more each year..and i am trying to be more mature..i think i need to be ready for the fact that one day..anytime sooner..maybe rite after august (what??!) maybe my parents would ask THE question..so i'm preparing..myself for the moment..and for the future....ok2..here's what the advice say i should have said to the guy i'm with..and it does make sense..rite?


It would feel great to be with you. I feel awkward and excited even talking about this. And I don't want...a boyfriend or a live-in relationship at this point in my life. I'm looking to be married and be a mother. So, until you're sure you want marriage and fatherhood, it would feel better to just date and keep my options open.


words: well..this is where i'll start to feel thorn apart..one side of me say..yosh schuzyy!! you should open up and try to meet new guys.. and the other is saying..no no no..u should just wait..that is not how a muslimah should do..u are way too good to do that(sigh~) 


God..please help me..show me some signs..talking about signs..usually when i started to lost the emm..how to say this..like-love-connection thingy with anyone..they would enter my dream..and usually when i woke up and remember it..i will end up feeling sad..i am a girl who fall..em..like someone easily..and i will like them for quite a while..only until..he did something that is not tolerable to my eyes and hearts..then i'll close the case..but among thise thousands crushes..only 3 made into the 'other' list..haha..yes..self-centered mode "on"   but like i said..it all ended the same way..sigh..anyhow..it is all about the lesson..life lesson..life still need to go on~


ok..enough said..i'm locking this heart again..and only time can unlock it again..hope there's still hope for me..insyaallah~


peace n out ^_^

memories remains~

salam~

i was re-arranging my xternal hdd..bought another one because the old one will be dedicated only to my FYP..as a backup..huhu..why? i heard a friend of my lost her pc and everything was in it..no backup..sigh..hope that will never happen to me..i'll lost myself then..so..using MARA scholar honestly..i then bought a 500gb hard disk..wuhoooo!! heaven weyh i tell u..haha..actually was planning to buy the 1T..but the price is still bit high for me..so 500gb is enough la compare to the old 120gb..hehe..but the sad story was..i bought the old one twice the price i got the new one..darn technology..how can i ever follow u..huhu~

so..the story~

i was re-arranging the folders..everything..songs..pictures..documents everything..u name it..and along came the memories..the sad, the laughs..the urgh..hurt much..still..i even found few documents on YM chats with few friends..and gosh..reading all those..just make me blushed..seems soooo stupid..i know in 20 years time if i come and read this blog again..this too will sound stupid..haha..well..that is why we heard them say..life changes people..and so did i..haha..and i managed to delete few picture folders that i think don't matter to me much..all those stories..i think i better leave them behind as i move on to the present life. oh..talking bout funny stuff..i got this 1 biiiiggg folder of crushes..note that..crushes..haha..yes..since few years back..i got few crushes..and when i looked at the pictures..again..i blushed..haha..stupid! how did my mind worked? now those guys belong to others..and i think..thank God i didnt go any further with any of them..not that they want that..hahaha..so..i deleted the folders as i deleted the crushing2 thingy..i am so matured now! haha~

looking at those things..really brought me to reality..yes i know i am not acting my age..but who ask them to say that i look younger than my age..haha..blame them!! blame them all!! hahaha..i read a fb statement of a friend..about age..and the fact that we are not that far to the big 3O..haha..gosh! gulp! double gulp! i know if i tell mama about this..she sure will straight go and ask anyone to marry me fast! haha..ok2..back to serious mode..i was saying..i know..this could be the perfect time to change..acting my age..as in few months time..i will be facing the real world..and if i continue to act like this..no one will take me seriously..i learnt that 3 times already..and i think..a change will be great..but how? do not know~

that 1 + 2x3 months experience really taught me what real life is all about..and how i should deal with it later..i hope i can be a better person..i have a dream..a dream too great to be told here..so i think better keep to myself first..but i did told my rumate..and she said no prolemo! only and only if i leave the unnecessary behind..yes! i should do that..those 'unnecessary' will only keep my dream away..i know i might jeopardize my happiness..but with that i will surely make my parents happier..and my rumate too..haha..only 3 of us know about the plan..hehehe..hope it will come true~ ^_^

still got much to tell..but for some reasons..i kinda need to learn to be silence for a while..been talking and writing too much..i'm not only writing here..i have another 2 diaries that i keep..one for the loved ones and one for study purposes..cewah..i know..i've been writing here as if anyone would want to read this..a friend once told me..the instance she saw the length of my entries she closed my page..haha..i dont mind that..thanks for trying to read my blog..if u managed to read up until this...congratulations..and thank YOU sooo much!! love u! ^_^

peace n out ^_^